This morning's conversation between Sloan and me as I got ready for work:
Sloan: Do you want our daughters to be pretty?
Julia: No. Hell no.
Sloan: Why not?
Julia: Why would I want them to be pretty? I would imagine nothing but misery comes from having a beautiful daughter.
Sloan: You just want to be prettier than them. That's why you hope our girls are ugly.
Julia: Not true. That's weird.
Sloan: Yes it is true. You want to be that mom who is prettier than her kids.
Julia: Well I don't want to look nasty and decrepit compared to my kids, but that's not the main reason why I want ugly daughters. I want their force field of ugliness to keep them safe from predators like frat boys, meatheads, and sexually experimental girls. And Brett Michaels. AND TILA TEQUILA. And Mardi Gras.
Sloan: That's stupid.
Julia: Most people feel the same way that I do, which means that you've got a lot to learn.
Sloan: What?! Most people don't want ugly kids! Just because you're saying crazy things in a not-crazy-way doesn't mean you're not saying crazy stuff!
Julia: THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT IT MEANS.