Monday, November 2, 2009

Genetics as It Applies to the Rehders

This morning's conversation between Sloan and me as I got ready for work:

Sloan: Do you want our daughters to be pretty?
Julia: No. Hell no.
Sloan: Why not?
Julia: Why would I want them to be pretty? I would imagine nothing but misery comes from having a beautiful daughter.
Sloan: You just want to be prettier than them. That's why you hope our girls are ugly.
Julia: Not true. That's weird.
Sloan: Yes it is true. You want to be that mom who is prettier than her kids.
Julia: Well I don't want to look nasty and decrepit compared to my kids, but that's not the main reason why I want ugly daughters. I want their force field of ugliness to keep them safe from predators like frat boys, meatheads, and sexually experimental girls. And Brett Michaels. AND TILA TEQUILA. And Mardi Gras.
Sloan: That's stupid.
Julia: Most people feel the same way that I do, which means that you've got a lot to learn.
Sloan: What?! Most people don't want ugly kids! Just because you're saying crazy things in a not-crazy-way doesn't mean you're not saying crazy stuff!


  1. i get what you are saying julia. i do. but that doesn't mean it isn't a little crazy. a little. :)

  2. "Just because you're saying crazy things in a not-crazy-way doesn't mean you're not saying crazy stuff!"

    Please tell Sloan that I love him.

  3. [big brother mode: on] You will most assuredly have ugly daughters. Have no fear. They will find comfort and joy in mathematics. By their early teens your twin ugly daughters will communicate solely in the spoken math-language that they will have invented; giggly to each other about Hilbert spaces and partial differential equations.

    And you'll be decrepit.

    [big brother mode: off] I'm kind of torn now. I feel a fraternal obligation to lovingly insult my sisters to keep the earth from plummetting into the sun, but I don't want to insult Sloan. That would just be rude. Maybe I'll figure this new role out eventually...

  4. Julia is right -nothing but misery comes from having beautiful daughters-

    no, not really. Chief

  5. Hahaha. HILARIOUS...

    But you can get lucky 2 ways though. Ugly, yes, that would be quite lucky. But if not there's always a chanve that instead of that "Ugly Duckling" stage they might've had in your family, the "Bee-sting" stage was all up IN our house! haha. The chunky bee-sting stage was my force field!

    HOLLA! To all my chunky girls out there with pretty faces! Woot woot! haha.