Monday, December 7, 2009

Slumber Party: Oxymoron, folks

Sleeping in the same bed is always an adjustment for a new couple. So WHAT if Sloan claims I have some sort of heat-emitting property which forces him to crank the fan and drink ice water whenever I get close to his side of the bed. BFD. So WHAT if he makes it so cold in our room that I get ill from exposure on a weekly basis? We deal. For Sloan, that means sleeping with a miniature, human-version of a bonfire. For me, it means claiming that I'm cold and getting no sympathy because I'm a miniature, human-version of a bonfire (AND BONFIRES DO NOT GET COLD).
What's been a more difficult adjustment? My trying to determine how awake Sloan is when he says crazy things. You see, he finds some value in unpredictability. And his delivery is so dry, it takes a higher level of skill to discern a sarcastic comment. But...I can usually do that. Not in the middle of the night, however. It's harder. WOULD YOU LIKE AN EXAMPLE??

The Scene: Our bed. It's the middle of the night. I sleepily sit up to readjust the blanket over my legs.
Sloan: He is asleep, facing away from me. In a slurred, soft voice. Baby? What are you doing?
Julia: I'm putting the blanket back on my feet.
Sloan: Unmoving. In a still slurred voice, but with an annoyed tone. Uh, great. Thanks for keeping me updated.
Julia: Awake now. What? You just asked.
Sloan: Asleep. No answer.

The battle between man and wife continues. Even in his sleep.

1 comment:

  1. The scene: middle of the night, Richard and Sarah asleep in bed. Richard has been studying for finals all day.
    Richard: snores
    Sarah: rolls over
    Richard: grabs Sarah's shoulder and shakes her. What is the value of e^1?
    Sarah: fully awake. Uhhhh, x!
    Richard: already back asleep.
    Sarah: yup, stayin' awake.