Monday, January 11, 2010

We Get It: Little Caesar's and Organic Farming

Think I'm gonna start a new feature of posts on this blog. Yeah. That's what I'm gonna do. It'll be called We Get It. In these posts, I will valiantly and courageously call out various people/organizations for being too over-the-top. I will be a beacon of light amongst the teeming masses of pointless internet opinion. Yes, yes...I suppose you could call this the beginning of a revolution, but I prefer modesty to epic (but totally true) statements such as that. Welp. Let's get started.
Little Caesar's
Hey Little Caesar's, WE GET IT. You have delicious pizzas waiting for us at your store...for only 5 bucks! We KNOW! And we LIKE IT! You don't need the Hot-N-Ready dancers anymore! Please give your poor employees a break. Let them go inside, have a seat. Ask anyone from age 15 - 29 where the nearest Little Caesar's is AND THEY WILL KNOW THE EXACT LOCATION. Hot-N-Ready's are a staple in every college freshman's diet already; must you are you still bundling your employees up and shoving them out the door?? They're tired for goodness sake. And, much more importantly, they make me tired when I watch their maniac two-step as I wait at stoplights. Stop climbing, Little Caesar's, you've already reached the top.

Hey anti-genetic farming community: WE GET IT. You think that we are poisoning ourselves with fruits and vegetables that aren't purchased from Whole Foods. We are a bloated and disgusting nation where food should be difficult and expensive to grow in order for us to be healthy. Fine! Why pay 50 cents for an avocado when I can pay 2 dollars for a smaller, less-robust version? We get it. Now, to be fair, I actually love vegetables, fruits, and fresher food in general. I eat lentils and spinach almost daily (the go-to hipster dish). And I am usually fine with you doing your organic food dance, because increasing the acceptance and understanding of eating healthier is an important and noble cause. However, I absolutely cringe at those who aggressively condemn non-foodies. When it prevents people in impoverished countries from receiving (genetically engineered) more resilient strains of rice and wheat which will better grow in their country, things have gone way too far.

Well, folks, there you have it! Let's do this again some time. Any suggestions for future topics?


  1. Do you remember the Little Ceaser's poster boy at the corner of Park and Mendenhall? That kid was unbeilevable. He had his tunes in his ears and he would air-guitar, head-slam, and flail-dance like no other. they eventually got him a Little Ceasar's sign shaped like a guitar.

    I miss him.

    Maybe next time I'm in Memphis I'll go say hi.

  2. I agree that we ALL KNOW that Little ceasers has pizzas ready anytime for the last 10 years... for $5!!! WE KNOW!! and I like it too!

  3. You should change the age range in your Little Caesar's rant. Up it from 29 to 30. I am now 30, and Little Caesar's is still my favorite!