Sunday, July 25, 2010

Baby Josh's Gorilla Scuttle

This is how baby boy gets around. He can be quite fast. When he gets very excited, he just goes in a circle over and over to express himself. I don't think he knows how to crawl on all fours. At least, I never saw it.



That's right, folks. Sloan and I have been awash in marital bliss for a year, now. Whenever we tell people how long we've been married, they cock their head sideways and say the same thing, "Only a year? You guys act like you've been married forever..." Well, THANKS guys! I'm taking that as a compliment. Otherwise, you'd all be on my hit list.
I surprised little man with an anniversary cake: 
"Hey, um, Julia?" you might be saying, "If I got an anniversary cake for my spouse, I would put a picture of both of us on it." Well, reader, that's because you're selfish.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010



 Little man has cranked it up a notch! Some of his latest outbursts include...

...turning to me dramatically, then saying in an assertive and serious manner, "Giddyup"--much like I would imagine a police officer saying before busting down a door during a scene from some gritty crime drama. This typically happens after we have both been quiet for a while.

...saying "Where you at?" in a rapper voice when he means, "What are you thinking about?"

...scratching out words on my magazine covers and replacing them, like this week's "The Economy Sloan is Back and the Economy Julia Stinks"

...throwing his hands back and saying, "Whoa! Calm down! Rein it in!" whenever I do something resembling not sleeping (such as laugh, stand up, sit down, or talk to him).

...secretly adding the Zach Efron biography video to our Netflix queue and constantly confronting me about "my new crush."

...saying things to inflame me, then waiting patiently until I either react or leave: 
Julia: You're my little sweetie pie. *kiss*
Sloan: And you're my little MEATY pie! *grabs Julia's thigh and jiggles it*
Julia: ...
Sloan: *wiggles eyebrows*
Julia: ...
Sloan: Teh. Heh.
Julia: *walks away*

Saturday, July 17, 2010


My baby. He's a baby magnet. Not like me. Babies are Julia magnets.

Josh would hardly let anyone besides Sloan hold him all week in Tennessee...leaving me to feel dejected and lonely and so sad it was terrible I don't feel like reopening the wound by talking about it on the blog.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010


Regen and Matt welcomed little girl Brisen (bry-son) on Sunday. *happy clap*
Yes, this is a joyous time for the Knoebel family, but more importantly, I have another baby to hold whenever Sloan and I visit Seattle!! That makes four! FOUR BABIES OF HAPPY HOLDING TIME FOR JULIA. A QUADRUPLE COMBINATION OF LITTLE BABY CUTENESS-CRADLING. Here is baby girl, doing what baby girl does best.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Big Heads: When bad things happen to good people

I figured out recently that my head is disproportionately large for my body. You'd be surprised at how hard this is to determine about your own body, the one you've looked at for twenty coughcough years. It's even harder when you have, ahem, wide-set shoulders.

I mean, sure there were some hints along the way that my head was large, like the fact that my graduation cap (biggest size) barely fit, even when I smoothed down my hair reeeeeal nice-like and burrowed my brow to somehow make it more compact. Or a friend's comment in high school: "I'm pretty sure you'd look weird if you lost weight because your head is already too big for your body." Or that time a small Asian girl in the mall pointed at me and yelped "SOOOO BEEG!!!!! BEEEEEG HEAD!" But, honestly, if you're not looking for it within yourself, you just won't see it. *sigh*

Now, at least, I know why people think I look taller than I am.
Other Person: You're only 5'2? I would have never guessed! You don't look that short!
Me: Well, it's actually because I have a large head, which throws off my proportions. My head is bigger than the heads of people who are even two feet taller than me, so it's deceiving. Like an optical illusion.
Other Person: *blank stare* Ahhhh. K. *stares at ground*

I won't lie and say I totally LUV MAH BIG HEAD and that it's a symbol that I'm a survivor or whatever...but I have come to terms with it. HOWEVER, don't think I can't rattle off a list of big-headed people...because, yeah, I notice. Miranda Cosgrove, for instance, has an ENORMOUS head.
I think she weighs like 70 lbs, but you would never guess it because her head is actually bigger than her waist. Whenever I see photos of Miranda Cosgrove, my brain just says DOES NOT COMPUTE and I have to lie down because it interrupts everything. That's pretty selfish of her.

ANYWAY WHAT WAS I SAYING? Oh yeah. Big noggin. I googled it. Apparently, the complexities of living your life as a someone who is, er, "big boned" only above the neck are deep, and virtually endless. Here are some questions/comments I found in forums discussing big heads.

Do you think people with big heads look weird in small or tight style shirts?

My head is gigantic, and someone told me it was because I'm an Aquarius. Is that true?

My girlfriend has a big head but a small face. I couldn't figure it out for a long time, but now that I have, it's honestly hard to look at her. 

I have a big head what paintball mask will comfortably fit me? I am so sick of dealing with this.
Im 14 years old and im always being teased about my big head. I have a realy big head and a body of a 9 year old everytime people call me names like bobble head boy etc. I realy need advice of how to make my head look smaller.
my cousin and i had the same size heads when we were younger. but now his is so much bigger than mine, and we're both the same size around 5'8. it makes him look really short and he's really depressed about it, any one know why?im not judging them. i love my cousin hes a really cool guy. but his head is really big. and he is completely depressed.
Yeah. That last one was kind of a downer. I don't feel like talking about this anymore.

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Moorefest 2K10

We've just returned from McMinnville/Rock Island, Tennessee after a fabulous week with the family. It was wonderful and fun and full of thick heat but DUH EVERYONE KNEW THOSE THINGS WOULD HAPPEN so let's get down to business.

I realize that many people who read this blog do not know my family. This, in a general sense, is completely unacceptable. To right this wrong, I will devote a post to providing family information, so that in the future, you will at least have enough knowledge about my family to know which ones are still young enough to poop their pants. I think I was able to find the best outtake from our family photo session to work with.

Dad: Good ole southern boy with a quick wit and a decent jump shot. Dentist.


 Mom: Tender-hearted nurturer with nice teeth and a penchant for napping.


 Richard (brother): Odd, but lovable electrical engineer. Borderline-obsessed with math and synthesizers.
Sarah (Richard's wife): Down-to-earth optimist who reads, probably too much. Likes to hug and give sincere compliments.

Hannah: Oldest grandchild. 7(!) years old. Maternal, bright, in control. Has luscious hair.


 Sam: 5 years old. Sweet, dim-witted. Hears, on average, about 30% of what you say to him. Likes to cuddle, scratch his "wink", and have emotional meltdowns.

Josh: 1 year old. Adorable, smiley, heavy. Grunts about once every 30 seconds. Loves watches and being held by men more than women. This is incredibly frustrating.


Laura (sister): Loving, accepting. Resident joke-laugher-atter. Can sew an evening gown out of Kool-Aid packets and banana peels.

Jason (Laura's husband): Jovial, patient. The adventurer. Going to school at Virginia Tech for Industrial Technology Cybernetics Planning Models or something like that.


Avery: 2.5 years old. Dainty, flirtatious. Has the delicate voice of an angel, rendering all of her utterances heart-melting.

 Carter: 0.8 years old. Content, observant. Has a gigantic head which makes dressing/undressing a traumatic experience for him every time. Resembles Charlie Brown.

Julia (me): Sexy, talented, and mind-bendingly intelligent. Has nicely shaped feet.

 Sloan (Julia's husband): Tall, manly, stoic. Eats too many hot dogs. Has alarmingly large hands.

Michelle (sister): Outdoorsy, tolerant, loving. Has consistently loved the wilderness and hated make-up for her entire life.

Some other things you should know about Moore family vacays

The presence of a reasonably non-dangerous horizontal surface (grass, raft, large boulder) will compel a Moore to take a nap on it. This also means that, at any given time, a non-blood relative (ie spouses) will be annoyed with a napper napping in the middle of an activity.

There are two classes of travelers in our family: the hurriers and the dawdlers. Everyone knows which one they are, even though we don't talk about it.

Our family plays a lot of games, and they end in either semi-serious shouting matches or bloodbaths with Laura in the lead.

Everyone except for me wakes up at, like, seven in the morning and comes to jump on my bed if I "sleep in" until 8:30. Apparently that's normal or something.

The idea of my putting embarrassing stories on the blog now casts a pall of apprehension over the family during our visits. I spend much of my family time convincing everyone that I won't completely humiliate them on the blog.

EDIT: This is how we look all cleaned up.