I realize that many people who read this blog do not know my family. This, in a general sense, is completely unacceptable. To right this wrong, I will devote a post to providing family information, so that in the future, you will at least have enough knowledge about my family to know which ones are still young enough to poop their pants. I think I was able to find the best outtake from our family photo session to work with.
Dad: Good ole southern boy with a quick wit and a decent jump shot. Dentist.
Mom: Tender-hearted nurturer with nice teeth and a penchant for napping.
Richard (brother): Odd, but lovable electrical engineer. Borderline-obsessed with math and synthesizers.
Sarah (Richard's wife): Down-to-earth optimist who reads, probably too much. Likes to hug and give sincere compliments.
Hannah: Oldest grandchild. 7(!) years old. Maternal, bright, in control. Has luscious hair.
Sam: 5 years old. Sweet, dim-witted. Hears, on average, about 30% of what you say to him. Likes to cuddle, scratch his "wink", and have emotional meltdowns.
Josh: 1 year old. Adorable, smiley, heavy. Grunts about once every 30 seconds. Loves watches and being held by men more than women. This is incredibly frustrating.
Laura (sister): Loving, accepting. Resident joke-laugher-atter. Can sew an evening gown out of Kool-Aid packets and banana peels.
Jason (Laura's husband): Jovial, patient. The adventurer. Going to school at Virginia Tech for Industrial Technology Cybernetics Planning Models or something like that.
Avery: 2.5 years old. Dainty, flirtatious. Has the delicate voice of an angel, rendering all of her utterances heart-melting.
Carter: 0.8 years old. Content, observant. Has a gigantic head which makes dressing/undressing a traumatic experience for him every time. Resembles Charlie Brown.
Julia (me): Sexy, talented, and mind-bendingly intelligent. Has nicely shaped feet.
Sloan (Julia's husband): Tall, manly, stoic. Eats too many hot dogs. Has alarmingly large hands.
Michelle (sister): Outdoorsy, tolerant, loving. Has consistently loved the wilderness and hated make-up for her entire life.
Some other things you should know about Moore family vacays
The presence of a reasonably non-dangerous horizontal surface (grass, raft, large boulder) will compel a Moore to take a nap on it. This also means that, at any given time, a non-blood relative (ie spouses) will be annoyed with a napper napping in the middle of an activity.
There are two classes of travelers in our family: the hurriers and the dawdlers. Everyone knows which one they are, even though we don't talk about it.
Our family plays a lot of games, and they end in either semi-serious shouting matches or bloodbaths with Laura in the lead.
Everyone except for me wakes up at, like, seven in the morning and comes to jump on my bed if I "sleep in" until 8:30. Apparently that's normal or something.
The idea of my putting embarrassing stories on the blog now casts a pall of apprehension over the family during our visits. I spend much of my family time convincing everyone that I won't completely humiliate them on the blog.
EDIT: This is how we look all cleaned up.