Saturday, August 28, 2010

Reach for the STARS!

Julia: So when I was at Ikea, I walked by this guy and some girl. And the guy is, like, staring at me.
Mikyn: Go Julia!
Julia: I know, right? He was cute, but I'm pretty sure he was like sixteen. Anyway, so I walk past them and then I hear someone come up behind me going "Can I ask you a question?" It's the girl with this guy. She asks me if I have ever thought about modeling or acting, and that she's a recruiter for a talent agency.
Mikyn: Aren't you way too short to model?
Julia: *looks at legs* Yes. Probably. *hangs head*
Sloan: Acting? Are there that many acting opportunities in Utah? This isn't LA., she probably wants your money.
Julia: *secretly embarrassed* I know, right? She was totally just trying to scam me. Dumb lady. *fidgets with blanket* I definitely didn't give her my number. She was so dumb.

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Lake Crescent

Today, many good things happened:
1. Baby Noa came to visit/play/dance like a maniac/look like Vance's tiny copy-person. (see Figure A)
2. We went to Lake Crescent. The water is blue because there is a lot of...nitrogen (?) in the water. Because of the...nitrogen (?), no plants grow in the lake and it's totes blue.
3. Ed, Vance, and Sloan demanded to listen to Lady Gaga in the car. I believe Poker Face was played about four times. Note: This is not a joke, nor is it an exaggeration. I felt like I was in the Twilight Zone.
4. We ate Burger King!!
5. Matt made a death-defying leap into the water from, like, a fifty foot rock. (see Sideways Figure B)
Figure A

Sideways Figure B

Friday, August 20, 2010

Sloan and the Mammoth: A Love Story

Julia: *deep breath* Ahhhhhhh, I like Canada.
Sloan: People talk funny. But I like it too.
Julia: *points* Ooh! A museum! The...*squints* Royal BC National Geographic Museum. Wanna go?
Sloan:Oh man, they'd BETTER have a woolly mammoth!!
Julia: A...woolly mammoth?
Sloan: IT'S CANADA. LAND OF THE MAMMOTHS. I love those things.
*An hour later, in the prehistoric exhibit*
Sloan: That steel mill was--*gasp* Wooooolly.
Julia: Baby! It's your woolly mammoth!
Sloan: I gotta take a picture. *fumbles with camera* *click*

Sloan: Oh man. Too dark....*click*

Sloan: Better. That thing is awesome. Take a picture of me with it. 
Julia: Really? Okay...*click*

Sloan: *looks at picture* No way. I can barely see the mammoth.
Julia: *sigh* *click*

Sloan: It doesn't look as big in the pictures...Maybe a video...

Victoria, BC

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

A Day at the Coast

At the beach. Kenley comes and lies down next to me with her hands behind her head.
Julia: Ah, are you lounging on the sand with me?
Kenley: Yep! It’s hard to know.
Julia: Yeah…okay.
*five seconds of silence, staring at the ocean*
Kenley: Hey Julia?
Julia: Yeah?
Kenley: What are you doing?
Julia: I, um, I’m just lying here next to you.
Kenley: Why?
Julia: Because I like it.
Kenley: Why?
Julia: It’s relaxing.
Kenley: Oh, why?
Julia: Because I see monkeys on my knees.
Kenley: Why?
Julia: Because the Canadians are snobs.
Kenley: Oh. Yeah, it’s hard to know.

On the way home from the coast, in the car with Ed, Regen, Sloan, Julia, and Kenley. About two hours into the trip.
Sloan: When I was listening to the radio the other day—
Kenley: Sloooooan! Stop talking!
*confused silence*
Sloan: Uh, anyway, I was listening to the radio and I guess the station’s
Kenley: STOP!
Sloan:—cassette started t
Kenley: TALKING!
Regen: Kenley? Why can’t Sloan talk? You’re letting everyone else talk. And you’ve been letting him this whole time…
Kenley: It’s so loud!
Sloan: I’m the quietest speaker in the car! You’re not even sitting near me!
*five minutes pass*
Julia: My favorite part of the beach was flying the kites!
Sloan: My favorite part was the—
Kenley: *clutching ears* SLOOOOOOOAN! NO!

Monday, August 16, 2010

Kenley - Pretty Girl or Juggalo?

Seattle So Far

Greetings from scenic Bainbridge Island. The living is pretty rustic here, with no AC, 256K internet, and no cell phone service. We're like the pioneers! Except probably not as spiritual (I know you were thinking that). The weekend has been filled with fun activities, such as doing the island's studio tour, going to the beach, and doing embarrassing things to make babies laugh.

Regen and Matt's little girl Kenley celebrated the big 0-3 this year, and we partied like it's her birthday:

Also. I sort of...go baby insane with happiness sometimes.Even during one of Mikyn's photoshoots.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Selective Hearing

Julia: *standing next to the tv, holding pants* is the problem I'm having.
Sloan: *eyes on the tv, playing a video game* Uh huh...
Julia: Your pants and undies. They were on the kitchen table. And you have two pairs of shorts and a shirt in the living room. Not to mention your underwear in the bathroom and the spare room.
Sloan: *eyes on the tv* *jerks controller* *grumbles*
Julia: This means that you have not only taken your clothes off in every room in the house in the past three days, but you left them there, and presumably walked away...kinda...naked?
Sloan: *squints at tv* Uh huh.
Julia: If you were a five year old, this would be a cry for attention.
Sloan: *frowns at tv*
Julia: Attention. Crying for it.
Sloan: *eyes on the tv* Uh huh.
Julia: Weeping. Screaming. Derobing.
Sloan: *eyes on the tv* Good idea.
Julia: Maybe I should take my clothes off right now. For the attention that I'm not getting.
Sloan: Uh huh.
Julia: ...
Sloan: *pauses game* Wait, what? Something important was just said, I think.


I am a vivid dreamer. Every night of sleep is an intense descent into the madness of my mind, and every morning is like a dream-hangover for me. I wake up in a cold sweat, have a headache, and am emotionally exhausted. I can remember every dream I have, and pretty much recall them for years after. This, of course, means I have plenty of recurring dreams, also. I hate it. I hate dreaming, it beats me up.
Why? WHY WHY all of the dreaming? Consulting Google, I can narrow things down to a few possibilities: 
  1. Menopause
  2. Taking too much vitamin B
  3. Being born during the rise of Neptune in Aquarius

My dreams have a few consistent themes:
  • BABY IN DISTRESS: The babies in these dreams are always different, but always cute. And the baby is always sad and looking at me during whatever stressful ordeal. Whether it is being dangled over balcony (I TOLD you! Stressful!!) or being held by a mother who is having a violent fight with her husband, that baby watches me with these teary eyes and extends its adorable, chubby hand in my direction. (I usually save it)
  • FEAST FIT FOR A KING: There is a lot of food, whether at a restaurant or at someone's house. And I am eating all of the food...eating and eating, and I'm all alone. I wake up feeling full because, well, I ate approximately 15 lbs of the food in my dream. I probably have an extensive eating dream about twice a week. 
  • FAAAAART: In my dream, I am inevitably in a situation where it is completely and unforgivably inappropriate to do something like this, like a funeral/giving a speech/at the side of my grandmother's deathbed. My stomach is aching and I don't know why. And it gets worse and worse until I rip a huge fart that I didn't even know was coming. It seems to echo and drown out any noises after, almost like I deafened myself with the intensity of my own fart.
Of course, I also have the typical "OMG I'm totally nakey!!" dreams, and I've also found that a lot of other women have the "Virgin Mary" dream where they are pregnant but have no idea how it happened. I get those covered in my naps, usually.

I don't know what I need to do to get all of my dreams to be just me sitting and watching tv or being tackled by a thousand golden retriever puppies, because honestly, that's about as surreal as I'd like to get.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

A HAIRY Situation - HEH IT'S A PUN!

The Scene: Lying in bed. Talking about someone...
Julia: No, she's a redhead. Like April O'Neil [from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles].
Sloan: *sits up* What? April O'Neil was not a redhead.
Julia: *sits up* That is the only memorable thing about her! That and all she wore was the stupid raincoat all of the time, even when it was sunny out.
Sloan: Okay. *holds pointer finger up* First of all,  it was not a raincoat, it was a sexy yellow jumpsuit. Second of all, she is a brunette.
Julia: *turns on lamp* Listen to me. April O'Neil is a redhead. Just like Shera is a blond. And Nancy Drew.
Sloan: Nancy Drew does not have blond hair, it's more like strawberry blond! And I noticed you didn't refute the jumpsuit comment. A point for me.
Julia: *recoils in disgust* Excuse me? You say strawberry blond like that actually exists! The only people who say they are strawberry blond are the same people who say their eyes "change colors." THEIR EYES DON'T CHANGE COLORS. No one is fooled by the term strawberry blond!
I believe the term you're looking for is red. Or blond.
Sloan: You sound like a crazy person. Who thinks things like this? That people with strawberry blond hair are somehow faking it?
Julia: Nancy Drew is better than that. She is not strawberry blond.
Sloan: *gets up and retrieves laptop* *types furiously*
Julia: YEAH look it up! I'm not afraid of being proven correct!
Sloan: Stop shouting.
Julia: This is gonna feel GREAT!
Sloan: Shut up.
Julia: Victory is nigh!
Sloan: *reading from Wikipedia* "Unlike the other versions of her character, the Mirage Comics version of April has dark brown/black hair (though early color reprints depicted her hair color as red/light brown). All future incarnations of April that came afterwards are redheads."
Julia: Yesssss, that one's mine, I'm counting it. NEXT.
Sloan: *reading from Wikipedia* "Nancy Drew's hair color was changed from blond to strawberry-blond, reddish-blond or titian by the end of the 1950's."
Julia: Son of a...
Sloan: *raises the roof*