Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Sloan: I downloaded a new app that tells you riddles. Want me to read them to you?
Julia: Yeah!! I'll feel like Bilbo Baggins!
Sloan: Okay, here's the first one: The more you take, the more you leave behind.
Julia: *thinky face* Footsteps!
Sunday, October 24, 2010
- Planned and executed in two days *pats self on back*
- Attended by many very cool people (also known as our friends)
- Genuinely a surprise for Sloan (this, I consider, my greatest accomplishment)
- Fiesta-themed (for no particular reason)
- Nearly ruined by Russell's peeking out the window as Sloan walked up (but ultimately not ruined--Sloan assumed it was me because i'm a creeper)
- Captured photographically by Holly, but I'M THE ONE who did all of the cool effects! By myself! In MS Paint!!!!!!
|A small sampling of the revelers|
|My little man|
|My little KK|
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Julia: *nervously* Heyyyy fitted sheet! How are ya? Been a while!
Fitted Sheet: *silence*
Julia: So, eh, listen. Can I...fold you?
Fitted Sheet: No, you may not.
Julia: K, I'll continue with the typical roll-into-a-wad style. Eh, forget about the linen closet! How about I put you on the bed? It'll be nice to get out in the open!
Fitted Sheet: *haughty sigh* You can try. But I feel obligated to remind you that this is a task that takes herculean strength and unwavering confidence, both of which aren't resting on the top of your pile of attributes. I mean seriously, how many times do you have to stretch me out with so much vigor that I rip, causing you to faceplant into the headboard? *chuckle* I'm not saying that isn't funny, Julia. *serious face* But I am saying it's sad.
2. Carrying a breakable item that does not belong to me - There have been plenty of situations where I have not moved from my spot at a gathering specifically because I don't want to pick up my glass. The chances of my dropping a breakable item of my own are approximately 25%. This escalates to 40% if I am around other people (45% if they are strangers). However, if it belongs to someone else (plates, figurines, picture frames) this probably hits a solid 80% percent. Now, I'm no gamblin man, but I'm pretty sure those odds aren't running in my favor.
3. Listening to Eminem
4. Trying to not walk like a duck - Probably once a week, someone makes fun of how I waddle when I walk (I've come to terms with this, emotionally). Matt, my physical therapist brother-in-law, says I walk like this because I have flexible hips, which sounds too provocative not to acknowledge. Anyway, when people notice this, I immediately attempt to (over)correct and pigeon toe my feet into normalcy. Not only does this hurt, but it takes my full attention to execute, which means the redirection of my normal brain functions to pointing my toes inward, leaving me essentially mindless. This only works as long as no one is speaking to me and expecting me to speak back, which sadly, happens more than I'd like to admit.
5. Hearing the doorbell - Panic strikes. Every time. WHAT DO I DO? AM I DECENT? CAN I GET AWAY WITH NOT ANSWERING, OR WAS I MAKING ENOUGH NOISE IN THE MOMENTS BEFORE THE RINGER RANG THE BELL FOR THEM TO KNOW THAT I AM HOME? DID I ORDER SOMETHING? WHY IS IT SO LOUD? WHAT IF THEY RING IT AGAIN? AND THEN START POUNDING ON THE DOOR? WOULD THAT MEAN IT COULD BE THE POLICE? WHY WOULD THEY COME TO MY HOUSE? I DON'T EVEN KNOW BAD PEOPLE!
6. Being around a baby but not being allowed to hold it - This is perhaps akin to watching your wedding ring fall down the drain. MUST REACH. MUST GET. NEED. And of course, this is exponentially worse if the baby is 1.) fat 2.) falling asleep 3.) wearing a costume.
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
After this point, when I realized there was a steady downward slope to my score, I decided to just...read, and not keep score. Surprisingly, this didn't really help: "You are Extroverted Intuitive Thinking Perceiving. ENTP's tend to be quick, innovative, and interested in many things (like a lawyer! or a President of the United States!). Alert and outspoken, they may argue for fun on either side of a question (argumentative, no big surprise). They want to be asked to participate in activities, even if they’re not really interested in them (wow, needy). They are resourceful in solving new and challenging problems, but may neglect routine assignments (unreliable, like Doc from Back to the Future). Because they see so many possibilities, ENTPs may have difficulty picking those with the greatest potential (ambivalent, like Charlie Brown). They dislike routine and find it hard to apply themselves to the sometimes necessary details involved in finishing projects (laaaazy). They become bored easily (obnoxious). They are most interested in logically analyzing ideas and theories (like some kind of genius!!). They can speak to all sides of an issue, and they may change sides if no one is championing the viewpoint of that side (kind of a jerk). The challenge of the discussion is more important to them than reaching agreement (finding joy in the small things, like a nice person). ENTPs are skillful at finding logical reasons for what they want (like a...terrible, rationalizer)."
This test is essentially telling me that my personality is...meh. Success!
Monday, October 11, 2010
|Baby Kylie doin her baby thing.|
|My besties, Emily and Kristi with their respective, er, men.|
|Jeff doing what others are too soft to do: ignore everyone and JUST EAT.|
Monday, October 4, 2010
|Ed: The patriarch. Complains consistently regarding temperature, lighting, and other drivers. The original manly man. Teddy bear at heart.|
|Pam: Unstoppable, stylish, and all other good things that could ever be associated with a person (she's my mother-in-law, guys, not touching the jokes with a ten foot pole).|
|Regen: Mini-mom. The only person I know with celebrity knowledge comparable to mine. Laughs nervously when she's proven wrong, like her mother.|
|Matt: Long-suffering, friendly, a master fisherman. Also known famously for contributing half of the DNA of two impossibly adorable girls.|
|Kenley: Bossy. Bananas. Has the voice of a chipmunk. Has a fragmented personality developing, due to being inundated with strange ideas by her grandmother. Says things like, "Santa called. He's not happy."|
|Darth: The original manly son. Dog-owner, daughter-lover, thing-builder. Can generally be heard yelling "JASPER!!" on a daily basis.|
|Missy: Darth's high school sweetheart. Adorable smile, long hair. Resident tender-heart. Can also be heard yelling "JASPER!!" on occasion.|
|Lily: Precious baby. When confused, annoyed, makes the same "Uh...can I help you?" face as her father. Will, in the future, start yelling "JASPER!!"|
|Vance: Tall, lean, health-conscious. Tries to leave the house when I begin talking to him. In the words of Sloan, "He's not as nice as you think he is, Julia...*scary face*" Take that as you may.|
Alison: Maternal, mild-mannered, tall. Makes cloth diapers and baby leggings. Has, quite possibly, never uttered a contentious word in her life.
Noa: Miniature Vance. Sweet, smiley, good-natured. Has the legs of a stallion and dances like a maniac. Precious.
|Mikyn: The worst.|
|I learned how to use captions. This blog just got a lot more interesting.|
|Hark, another be-captioned photo created by J. Miriam Rehder (artist name).|
|From this photo, I learned a valuable lesson: sometimes, when you're pointing at and mocking Mikyn, you end up pointing at and mocking your right armpit.|
|Pam and Kenley held hands but didn't include me. Not only was this awkward, but it was upsetting.|
|Drinking in the Prophet's counsel at General Conference.|