I don't really talk about my blog on my blog (aka meta-blogging) because...well...I don't ever have anything to say about it existentially. It just is. And that's okay.
I think Albert Markovski said it best when he addressed a rock he found on the ground: Nobody sits like this rock sits. You rock, rock. The rock just sits and is. You show us how to just sit here and that's what we need.
I feel that way about this blog.
However, something odd is happening lately. People have been going out of their way to tell me that they don't read my blog. Now, this makes me happy in the sense that I must be approachable enough that people can unsolicitedly tell me that they do not read my blog. I really value candid people and I don't assume anyone reads this besides my family.
However...I have an ip tracker, which means plainly that I already know if you read my blog or not. And when someone tells me they don't read it, but I know they actually stop by the page a few times a week, I wonder if that means people feel uncomfortable talking to me.
Don't get me wrong, I am the queen of face-saving. There have been many times when I have forwarded my nonchalance in true hipster fashion by catching on to the latest anti-trend. I pretend like I hate things like Banana Republic and Tom Clancy books. I ironically eat at Denny's, I wear uncomfortably tight pants and geriatric sweaters. So, honestly, no need to tell me you don't read my blog, because I agree that blogs are so uncool! They are the worst!! Even though the odds are if I know you in any way, I read yours.
I have a feeling that my mom and anyone else over 30 won't understand what I'm talking about. "Why would someone tell you they don't read your blog when they really do? That seems silly!" I'll give an example: I know a person who is very self-aware. He/She likes Salinger and horn-rimmed glasses. Once, while I was hanging out with this friend, he/she referenced a story that I had written on my blog, but quickly followed it up in a dismissive tone, "I mean, I don't read your blog. Someone else told me about the story." However, I know that he/she hits up the blog almost daily (WHICH IS NORMAL AND FINE, I DO THIS WITH MANY BLOGS BELONGING TO PEOPLE I DON'T KNOW AT ALL). This happens to me a lot if the blog ever comes up in conversation, which is not often (I mean it's not like I'm paying my friends some sort of 30% straight commission to make mention of my blog in their daily conversations, and then following up on their leads with a phone call and written report. Ha! That's insane!)
So I just want you guys to know some things. It's okay if you read this. It's okay if you don't. It's okay if you print out each entry and place it in a leather binder titled "Julia and Sloan 4 Life." It's okay if it's just a manila envelope. It's okay if you aren't reading this right now. It's okay if you don't even know what the internet is used for. It's all okay. When it comes to my accepting and loving people, I care much more about things like their physical attractiveness and annual income than whether they take an interest in my blog.