This time, however, my little man actually recorded himself, laid his adorable r&b track over the beat from the I am T-Pain app, and presented it to me: http://iamtpain.smule.com/mysongs/uid/1/1254662?did=9748391
So, if you listened carefully, you may have gleaned from the lyrics some false information. Sloan seems to be implying that I have, somehow, not been acting like my usual, irresistible self since becoming plump with his seed. This is a misjudgment on his part. I am fun and happy! And JOLLY.
Let us remember that not all behavior is indicative of one's true disposition. Just because I bathe erratically, clean erratically, and eat not erratically doesn't make me anything but the same old Julia!!! And if you're wondering, I have always called Sloan things like "detestable ogre" and "morally corrupt poptart;" that's nothing new. And honestly, I have been flipping off bad drivers since I was a kid. Also, my affinity for tripping the elderly in public is just some weird quirk, everybody has 'em right? And you should know that the kitten-skinning incident a few weeks ago was seriously just a one time thing (don't ask ME why some people find it so satisfying). And, finally, no...there is not a homeless person stuffed in my TRUNK! I am offended by the mere insinuation.