This baby boy. THIS baby boy is the reason I no longer hate Britney Spears because they both have blonde hair and brown eyes and how could I possibly dislike anyone with blonde hair and brown eyes ever again after knowing Joshua David Moore? He is also the reason I stopped smoking the pipe...and shoplifting office supplies, eating saturated fat, and hitting Sloan with my high heels during arguments. Josh is the reason the Allies won WWII, the reason Tina Turner's legs are still so nice, the reason Hosni Mubarak stepped down peacefully. He is the reason I no longer feel a deep-seated desired to stomp on the Precious Moments figurines whenever I see them in the Hallmark Store.
He is also the reason I might vomit after watching online videos at work: