Thursday.

Thursday morning.

That was when I would take real maternity pictures, I decided. So, last night, I did what I had to do: set my alarm for 6:00 am so I could have enough time to get ready before the shoot. Like most moderately-attractive women, I knew I'd need at least 2-3 hours of prep time to look the least like my natural self, but not look like a cyborg trying to blend in with the human race.

So, I did it. I woke up to my alarm at 6:00 this morning. But then I accidentally hit the not-snooze button and turned it off, so I didn't actually get up until 10:30. Didn't matter. We'll just shoot indoors. Keep it simple. The ensemble I decided on was a $12 maxi dress from Forever 21 and a cardigan I picked up at a little ole place called Deseret Industries.

We set up, with Sloan using my camera: an iPhone 4 with the flash on. Now, the manual focus can be a little tricky, but he's good, so I trusted him with the device. Test shot:

Perfect. Just the right amount of sexuality and carefree whimsy for maternity photos.

Also, this shot proved that we'd be able to easily capture the lumpiness of my butt, which was something I was worried wouldn't show up in the pictures.

Now it was time to get avant-garde. None of that typical happy, go-lucky crap. This shoot was about life. Real life. The sublime spectacle. The beautiful disaster. The amber is the color of your energy.

Forlorn and without shoes. Alone. Nietzsche was right.

On to the props portion of this event.  You would NOT believe the heights we had to go to capture these shots. Sloan and I had to really get into the right moods for each scenario, so we ended up going to the nearest train station to feel the energy of travelers with little caboodles. We don't really have any train stations, so we settled on the bus depot. After sitting on the benches for a while, we came back home with the right frame of mind.

What good is a photo without props?

I really wanted something for our progeny to look at and say, "Yes, that is my ancestor, Julia Rehder. Her last name, along with those in  her immediate family, also had that last name beginning with an R." *sigh* For the future generations.

No good, I tell ya.

We went pretty traditional with the plant and candle. However, since I'm not as flexible as I used to be, this was as close to the ground I could get while still holding my sexy facial expression.

No good at all.

And just to get the upper hand in my marital public image, I'm making good on the promise/threat to Sloan that, "If you take dumb pictures while I'm off looking for props, I will post them on the blog.

Stay classy, my little man.