Friday, May 6, 2011

Spring Cleaning!

It's that time of year again! Spring has sprung! SPRING HAT GESPRUNGEN. That's how they say it in Germany. A lot of people don't know that. Of course, up here in the mountains, spring is a term loosely defined as the season when it snows only once a week while the remaining days give a you sunburn and a hot punch in the face.

Little man has been visiting home on Bainbridge for the entire week while I've stayed here makin that paper. I pick him up on Saturday, which means I have GOT to whip this house in to shape before then!! Or I'll get the hose again.

"Julia," you might be saying, "You need to slow down. You're pregnant! And you're really pretty! You do NOT need to work so hard! Can't you ever relax?" Nope, dear reader. *shakes head* Alas, I am unable to overcome the energetic ambition that courses through my veins. I've finally come to terms with it: I am a super hard worker! All of the time! I would've been an awesome pioneer, or maybe coal miner.

What does every spring cleaning need, you may wonder. A checklist, you imbecile!!!

J. Rehder's List of Vital Cleaning Activities
  1. Dump the dead houseplants into the apartment complex flowerbeds. Replace with  fake plants from Ikea.
  2. Sweep lint and dust accumulations back under dryer with foot.
  3. Vacuum easy-to-reach places in living room (don't go near furniture legs due to the weird noise they make when hit by vacuum)
  4. Go through winter's mail.
  5. Clean bathroom mirror with Windex. Go ahead and clean counters and sink with Windex.
  6. Flip dining chair cushions over to clean side.
  7. Finish off bag of Cool Ranch Doritoes currently lying under couch.
  8. Get distracted and watch Bio-Dome while looking at baby pictures.
  9. Rinse out bathtub with bucket of warm water.
  10. Run hands over window blinds to scatter dust.
  11. Throw away old pencils, unused napkins and loose change.
  12. Google "How to wash pillows." Then spray pillows with old Febreeze bottle filled with water.
  13. Light Kirkland Signature Home Aromas candle.
Voila! *deep breath* Feels good to have a house in order. Real good.


  1. That's the pioneer girl I know and love.

  2. That's my kind of cleaning lady! You will soon find that cleaning with a child will need a lot more imagination!

  3. Haha I totally avoid going NEAR furniture legs with the vacuum. And also near cords. Would you you guys want to hang out tomorrow night, or will you be too busy reuniting with Al'Nair?

  4. Julia, I also love Bio Dome! Even the strongest people aren't immune to its distracting powers. Oh, this is Mike Matthews by the way.

  5. Here's a tip: Dont' worry about cleaning! When your momma comes, all the messes magically disappear!