Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Babaytime

His name is Edward Richard Rehder (covered both grandpas with that one) and we call him Ward. He's a good littlest man; he loves cuddling, his daddy, and eating. And eating. DID I MENTION EATING HAHA. But more importantly, I have a baby now, which makes me legit. Listen to all of the lessons I've learned about babies and having them:

  • Sometimes, it'll be necessary to spend a couple of hours of your labor on your hands and knees so the baby won't be in distress.  It won't be that hard, but all of the doctors and nurses will think you are Wonder Woman for some reason and shower you with compliments. Just go with it.
  • The nurses in labor and delivery will hook you UP with those little packages of Lorna Doone Shortbread cookies. You can eat an astounding amount of those before you feel ill.
  • One word: blood. Everywhere. Everywhere. For days. You will feel hardcore (because you are). 
  • The first night at home with the baby, your inner voice will convince you that if you stop looking at/monitoring your sleeping infant, he will immediately die, whether it be from suffocation or a meteor hitting the house. So you'll stay up and cry until five in the morning when your husband carefully leads you to the bedroom while you cry into a burp rag. The baby will be fine.
  • Newborn farts sound like cartoon farts.
  • After you have your kid, you'll still look 6 months pregnant until your organs return to their original size. Pass the Spanx! LOL Ha! Still fat! OMG too funny!!
  • You will think everything that baby does is the most amazing and wonderful thing that has ever been thinged.

11 comments:

  1. SO true, every word of it!!!!! Congrats Julia, he is beautiful!!

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  2. Umm everything your baby does IS the most amazing and wonderful thing, in the history of things, ever. And littlest man is SO stinkin' cute!! I want to meet him. Also, post baby fatness is totally the best. I was pushing Josh in his stroller in Target when he was two weeks old, and this lady came up to me and asked when I was due. I explained that, ya know, I wasn't pushing some random baby around, and she said, "Oh. Your stomach just hasn't gone down yet." lolthanksilovebeingfat.

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  3. Julia, I thought, "Crap, this is going to be a serious post, not a funny one." I realize you were completely serious with all you said, but it was still hilarious.

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  4. I can already tell that you are turning into a softy! Cutest baby ever, congrats Jules!!

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  5. Oh my goodness, he is so adorable! Congratulations to both you and Sloan! And every word of this post is true :) Haha. Especially the part about monitoring your sleeping infant ;)

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  6. he is so so cute!! Congrats to you guys :) I think he's a good mix of the both of you :)

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  7. But you are Wonder Woman!

    After I had Sam, my friend came over to the apartment and after giving me a strange look said "why is your belly still so big? I thought you had the baby already?!" yeah.

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  8. Congratulations! He is really beautiful!

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  9. Ward is adorable...ha ha I love this post. Leila slept in a bassinet in our room for a couple months because it allowed me to sleep with a piece of mind. But it's probably better to get it over with now. And their farts do sound like cartoon farts.

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  10. LOVE THIS PICTURE!!

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