There is an unopened bag of chips sitting next to me. There is an infant sleeping precariously on my lap. SOPHIE'S CHOICE OR WHAT.
Ward is cranky/needs attention/a drama queen. He seems like he might be kind of a jerk, because I'm pretty sure if given the choice between a pacifier and an end to war and famine, he'd choose the pacifier. What kind of person does that? I'll tell you: a selfish one. And seriously who knows, he could be a racist or chauvinistic or worse...a vegan. We'll find out once he starts talking. In the mean time, we have to try to keep him calm, which is all of the time because he loves to cry. Strategies (color coded for your convenience...effective/ineffective):
Julia - Cuddle him like a baby doll!
Sloan - Blow in his face.
Julia - Cuddles! He loves his mommy! Yes he does!!
Sloan - Remove baby's clothes and watch tv.
Julia - What kind of robot baby doesn't love mommy cuddle snuggle hugz??
Sloan - Cry back into his face during a fit.
Julia - Why doesn't this baby love me? WHY NO CUDDLE?
Sloan - Hold him upright to look at the pictures on the wall for extended periods of time.
I could go on, but you probably get the idea. Our parental journey continues!