Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Gluttony!

Sloan feeds this baby a lot...and it can get kinda boring since it takes Ward approximately six hours to finish a bottle. This is what Sloan does during a good portion of his day with the baby.


However, just within the past week or so, Mr. Mom has figured out a way to play video games and feed the baby at the same time. It's head-smackingly simple:


Works like a charm. When Ward sees us lowering the pillow over his arms, he knows the drill. He immediately calms down and opens his mouth (not making a "that's what your mom did last night joke" here because that is crude and, quite frankly, disgusting).

When I feed Baby Ward, it's in a dark house in the middle of the night. To stay awake, I mess around on my iPhone doing iPhone things that only iPhone users would understand (Did I mention I have an iPhone? No big deal just wanted to let you know so if you have any iPhone questions I could probably answer them due to my iPhone experience IPHONE IPHONE IPHOOOOOOOOONE). This pretty much means that I play Word Warp, take pictures of my face and google things. I didn't realize how weird my brain got during the wee hours when I'm a few keys short of a piano (I just came up with that right now). Or a couple of blocks short of a complete Jenga set. Don't have all of my marbles in the...marble pouch...? Missing a few tools in the old tool shed that my neighbor said never to go near again or he'd get out his shotgun but I keep hearing weird noises like someone crying coming from inside WHAT WAS I TALKING ABOUT? Oh yes, I pulled up my google search history from last night's feeding:


I forgot about my attempted erotic foray into the lives of Judge Alex and Lou Dobbs (what can I say, I have a type). Sadly, those searches were fruitless.

Honestly, though, in regards to this search history, I'm just going to say what everyone else is thinking: we all know that they make corn dogs by rolling each hot dog in a slice of bread and then putting them all in one big oven. After that, they're frozen into a block of ice and shipped to the grocery store. Why I failed to remember that last night is really beyond me. *embarrassing*

3 comments:

  1. Maybe you should learn to multitask, like nursing and sleeping. I got pretty good at that.

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  2. Did you write this post in your sleep as well? I am still blushing from the "what your mama did last night" comment. So inappropriate!

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  3. Love Sloan's ingenuity! Way to multitask!--Zannah

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