Monday, September 5, 2011

Moments in Art

Input/Output (an original vignette written by J. Miriam Rehder)

Julia: ...variscite, verdite, aaaaaaand zircon! Those are all of the semi-precious stones in alphabetical order, son. Are you done eating? Well, then let's burp you, little man *pat pat pat pat pat pat* Why does your back feel wet? OH SON OF A--


Fin.

He Came Round the Mountain (original photograph by S.L. Rehder 2011)


Travel Revelations (not a story or anything really, just stuff written by J. Miriam Rehder)
Like most infants, mummies, and obese men, little man hates lying on his stomach. So when we give Ward his mandated tummy time, he reacts poorly...during the entire ten minutes. So we put him in his room and just close the door because seriously baby you need to just get over it there are worse things in the world like famine, war, and leather pants am I right or am I right. 

This is how it looks before we close the door:


And after his ten minutes are up, this is how it looks when we open the door BECUZ LOL HE'S AN INFANT AND CAN'T REALLY MOVE K?



So...what does it mean when my littlest man falls silent for the first time during tummy torture? That he's happy? That's he's suffocating? Or perhaps that he somehow journeyed to the faraway land beneath the crib and fell asleep there?


STRICTLY HYPOTHETICAL SITUATION: What do you do when your light-sleeping child falls asleep under his crib? Drag him out by his legs, then swaddle and console him for thirty minutes? Or just leave him there, a sad little fetal body dream-twitching on the floor?

Side Note: While taking photos of Ward during TT, I realized he looks like a beached mermaid merman merfetus:



Side Side Note: Don't google image "beached mermaid." Things get really sexy really fast.

3 comments:

  1. Poosplosion! That word looks weirder than it sounds...

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  2. Seriously, how did he get under the crib?

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  3. Seriously i have no idea. I know that when he gets mad enough he wiggles a little way, but never across the room. Sloan wasn't home when it happened, so I know it wasn't him...

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