Did I ever mention before that Sloan likes fantasy? Probably not, because it's embarrassing. Does he play Dungeons & Dragons? Has he tried to learn Elvish? Did he hold up a map of Middle Earth in his high school's group senior picture? These are questions that will be met with silence. (But really, doesn't the silence say it all?)
Anyway, Sloan got a good amount of reading in on Saturday, and as is the case when he reads/watches anything fantasy, it made him obnoxious and insane for the rest of the day. After spending the majority of the night speaking with a (surprisingly good...) Irish accent, Sloan decided that my yelling at him to "Shut your creepy mouth or I swear I will take this baby and start a new life as a cocktail waitress in Reno," just wasn't as gratifying as it used to be. And so, like the warrior he is, he pushed on.
Before you read the following, you should also know this: Sloan keeps an imitation katana under his side of the bed "for protection." What's a katana, Julia? Well, you totally dumb reader, it's a Japanese samurai sword. These days, katanas are owned mostly by the "quiet type" teenage boys who draw disturbing pictures and argue over things like hit points and warrior classes.
The Scene: In bed, falling asleep. Even Sloan's breathing somehow sounds Irish.
Sloan: *sits ups* Woman. Did ya hear that?
Julia: That squeak?
Julia: *sigh* It was just the bed when you were turning over.
Sloan: Methinks something is afoot. *slips out of bed, crouches*
Julia: I think you're confusing Shakespeare with...never mind. And what? No one is in the house. I just went through and turned off the lights. The doors are locked. It was the bed.
Sloan: *holding sword* You stay here. *strokes Julia's cheek* There's no need fer a woman tah see what's about tah happ'n.
*five minutes later*
Sloan: *putting sword back in its sheath* Woman, wake up. Arise!
Julia: *not moving*
Sloan: You should know...*leans on sword* I found no one in our beloved home.
Sloan: But *dramatic sigh* because winter is coming, I shall keep Ev'nfall close this night.
Julia: I am not asking you what that means.
Sloan: *climbs into bed* Ahhhhh. *scratches chest* Sweet sleep awaits me this autumn evenin'.
Julia: Don't tell me what Ev'nfall is. I do not ca--
Sloan: *loudly* Ev'nfall is mah sword, woman! *pulls sword out from under comforter*
Julia: You named it? It's not even the right kind of swor--
Sloan: *throws head back* HAHAHA, silly girl!! *head shake* All good swords have names.
Sloan: Now, quiet lass. *puts finger on Julia's lips* We slumber.
Julia: I wasn't even talk--
Sloan: SILENCE, WENCH.
P.S. Many people think the Sloan stories aren't true. Oh they are YOU BETCHA. And he is skilled at these games; he will stay in character for DAYS until he