Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Out of the Mouths of Babes

This Thanksgiving, Sloan (27), Mikyn (21), Ward (0.3), and I (25) went to Logan to visit with Sloan's cousin Ryanne and her family. She has three kids who are so cute and so hilarious. We love them and they love...Sloan. Pretty sure they still don't know mine or Mikyn's names. Anyway.

The kids like "doing hair," so they sat Mikyn down to comb hers. A little background: Mikyn's hair is naturally blond and it's long. It's very pretty...and it had better be, because Mikyn's hair is her identity (Actual quote: "I'm really nervous about having a baby someday, because what if it's, like, ugly and has brown hair?")

WE GET IT MIKYN. GEEZ.
 ANYWAY, after combing Mikyn's hair with an actual comb (not a brush) and styling it and restyling it and caressing it like a unicorn's tail, the kids thought it'd be fun to play with my hair.

Wrong.

My hair is thick, and in the bottom layers it has this bizarre waviness that is impervious to modern hair-flattening weaponry. It's nappy hair that is not easy to brush, let alone comb. In fact, I don't think I've ever gotten a comb through it from root to end. Some quotes:
  • Do you ever brush you hair? Because *grunt* this is pretty hard!
  • If I just...*grunt* pull it...harder...THERE! Got it!
  • *sigh* You know you really should brush your hair more often. (Eh...good point)

Things didn't get any more emotionally encouraging for me after GENIUS Sloan asked Ryanne's two-year-old girl, "Who's prettier? Mikyn or Julia?" and she thought for a second before pointing to Mikyn and whispering, "That girl."

Awesome.

Needless to say, for the remainder of the night I just stayed in the kitchen eating the last third of the cheesecake with my hands and pretending there was something in my eye.

On the way home:
Julia: *sigh*
Sloan: Baby, she only said that Mikyn was prettier because Mikyn was sitting a lot closer. You were across the room. She's not prettier than you!
Mikyn: Uh, hello? I'm in the car.
Julia and Sloan: Shut up, Mikyn.
Julia: You're Mikyn's brother, so of course you can't think she's pretty. That'd be weird!
Mikyn: Hey! I tell people that my brothers are good-looking all of the time!
Julia and Sloan: Shut UP, Mikyn!
Sloan: Julia, she's two! Two-year-olds don't even know what pretty is! She just pointed at the first person she saw! You're prettier!
Mikyn: Come on, guys! I can hear you!
Julia and Sloan: Shut up, Mikyn!
Julia: Little kids are the most honest critics! A two-year-old will tell you what everyone else is thinking but not saying! Everyone knows that! That's why it's so awkward when they answer serious questions!
Mikyn: We're just both pretty, Julia.
Julia and Sloan: Shut up, Mikyn!! 
Julia to Sloan: *whispering* Ugh, she's the worst, amIright?
Sloan: *nods*

Note: I will delete all comments under this post that don't at least specifically say I'm pretty and Mikyn's ugly.

11 comments:

  1. Best Thanksgiving ever! You are definitely pretty and very talented because your hair always looks perfect. And Mikyn, well, I'll just say when C. was taking her picture he did say, "Now stroke your hair like this for the picture."

    ReplyDelete
  2. haha poor Mikyn... never allowed to talk

    ReplyDelete
  3. Mikyn's ugly and you're pretty.

    Also, how does Mikyn pronounce her name? I'm dying to know after reading it so many times.

    ReplyDelete
  4. WELP Veronica is the only one is following my simple directions so far.

    It's pronounce MIKE-in (I'm a professional sounder-outter)

    ReplyDelete
  5. I like to say My-Kin. and wow.

    ReplyDelete
  6. THANK you for answering the question about how to pronounce Mikyn's name! I have been REALLY curious about it since I started reading your blog! For some reason in my head I heard MEEK-in. You are a talented sounder-outer Julia!

    ReplyDelete
  7. OH and Julia is VERY pretty (always has been, I have personal knowledge of this, after an adolescence being jealous of her good looks)

    ReplyDelete
  8. Thank you for answering my question. Here is your reward:

    Julia is pretty. Mikyn is ugly.

    Sorry, M.

    ReplyDelete
  9. And Mikyn, I was saying you're pretty in a sneaky way so Julia would still post my comment. You know, being the kids' hair model and all.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Sloan is a genius. With a simple question to a two year old he was able to send either his wife or his sister into a tailspin. It didn't even matter which one the toddler chose! Does Sloan have a blog/cable channel/correspondence course where he teaches his techniques?

    ReplyDelete
  11. Richard. please. like you don't already know how to mortify/torment your wife and sisters.

    Julia, you are beautiful.

    Hannah told me the other day that I looked old and that I needed to loose some weight.

    ReplyDelete