Saturday, February 4, 2012

I Don't Like Mila Kunis

Has she been rude to me? No.

Has she hurt me? No.

Has Mila Kunis done anything to me personally that could be considered offensive? Well, no. 

Heck, does she even know that I exist? *sigh* 

Do I actually dislike her because she seems to have a cool personality and everyone knows that violates the female code, which explicitly states "No woman shall be both cool and sexy, lest she make men realize that the fairer sex doeth possess the capacity to be multi-faceted"?

Or is it just that I've written a couple of slightly verbose letters to her (and even included my picture, a lock of hair, and my social security number) and she has yet to write back asking me to come along on one of her trips to the south of France or the Mediterranean or even just to, like, Legoland?

Let's not over analyze any of this, guys, geez. Just know that I don't really love Mila to pieces. 

And Sloan knows this...which is why I shouldn't be surprised about what he did. After having left my phone to charge on his nightstand for the evening, I unplug it and crawl into bed to do a crossword and find this on my screen:


*deep breaths* If there is one thing I've learned about Sloan since marrying him, it's that my reaction to his behavior is the source of his satisfaction. So, instead of trying to punch him in the kidneys or tear down the curtains or pour bleach on his clothes like I otherwise would when I find Mila Kunis on my lock screen, I just poker face it. He will not win this one. I am the boss of me, not him. I am going to be the better man and simply unlock my phone and get to my crosswor--


OH.

OH HELL NO.

4 comments:

  1. i'm in tears. rolling on the groung.

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  2. Dan loves Mila... and Natalia Portman. Thank you Black Swan.

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  3. LOL just break the TV on OOPS!! superbowl sunday...

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  4. I am sorry you don't like me Julia. I love your blog. - Mila Kunis

    ReplyDelete