Friday, March 30, 2012

Baby Face

 

Monday, March 26, 2012

How to Talk to a Loan Officer

 
 
 
Oops, this is actually a picture of me at work. Eh, you get the idea

Friday, March 23, 2012

Drape

The first rule of Baby Blanket Club?  Don't talk about Baby Blanket Club.

And the second rule? Drape.

Tree Drape
Board Drape
Baby Drape
Baby Undrape
Fridge Drape
Drape Drape

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

The Golden Child

Sloan has a younger sister named Mikyn (MY-kin). I've maybe talked about her before. She lives here in Utah and goes to BYU, so we get to see her a lot. And since Sloan and I are both super smart, we're really good at teasing her. We don't really feel bad though, because Mikyn is the youngest and has therefore lived a charmed life.
Can you figure out which one she is? Wild guess.

Mikyn is really just the perfect target for my jealousy brand of humor. For one thing, she hates it when I swear. What? Who hates swearing? Mikyn, that's who. And yes, I may swear, but at least I'm not tagged in 1,249 photos on Facebook...posing like this.


(Don't mind the watermark. I meant for it to be there. DID YOU HEAR THAT, PICTURECOLLAGESOFTWARE.COM? I DON'T MIND THE WATERMARK. YOU'LL NEVER GET ME TO UPGRADE FROM MY TRIAL VERSION.)

Anyhooooo, when Mikyn hangs out with Sloan and me, it's like she has a target on her forehead. Any story she tell us pretty much goes like this:

Mikyn: So when I was at Walmart yesterday--
Julia: OHMAHGAH! You went to Walmart?? You so crazy Mikyn! *googly eyes*
Sloan: Mikyn's gone wild! Goin to Walmart! *high fives Julia*
Mikyn: Um...anyway, when I was there, I saw this lady--
Sloan: *jumps up from couch* OH NO YOU DIDN'T. OH NO YOU DIDN'T. You saw a LADY??
Julia: *fake phone dial* Hello, 911? Did you know that there's a LADY loose at Walmart???
Sloan: Good one, baby! *high five*
Mikyn: Well, she was in line in front of me and--
Julia: *spits out drink* WHAT?!
Sloan: Whoa whoa whoa. WAIT. EVERYONE SHUT UP! *pause* *takes Mikyn by the shoulders* You were in LINE? BEHIND HER? *faints onto couch*
Mikyn: Geez, never mind.
Julia: Hey now, Mikyn! We're just teasing you... *goes in for hug*
Sloan: Yeah, we're just having a little fun. We're sorry. Continue on with your story, we're listening.
Mikyn: Oh, okay...sorry, I just...I don't know. No biggie. Anyway, so as the cashier was checking her out, this lady--
Julia: BORING. *flops onto floor snoring* Geez, Mikyn, are all of your stories about Walmart?
Sloan: Yeah! *high five*

You may be thinking that Sloan and I are over the top with Mikyn, but did I mention that she got a horse for Christmas one year? So...you know. Don't feel bad for her.

Friday, March 16, 2012

No Shame

This picture really embarrasses me for obvious reasons.


I mean, seriously Ed? What is with that stupid hat?

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

The Haps!

Okay, you dummies: we're moving..ish. 

Sloan is going to UNLV's dental school in the fall, which means we'll be leaving Utah. I really love Utah, and when I think about leaving, I'm all like:
 
But then I remember that Sloan is going to school to be an oral surgeon and I'm all like: 
And that helps.

Because we're moving to Las Vegas at the end of the summer and because I can work from home and because Sloan doesn't have any more school until the fall, we've decided to pack up our belongings (aka yarn, rhinestones, and a PlayStation), put them in storage at the end of this month, and then spend the summer letting Ward terrorize his grandparents!
Get excited!
And as you most certainly remember, Sloan is from Seattle and I am from Memphis. We'll spend several weeks in both locations. I know it can be hard for others to keep up with a jet-setting lifestyle as fast-paced as ours, so I came to this blog entry prepared with calendar pages customized according to where we will be during the months. Feel free to print these out.





Or something like that.

Sunday, March 11, 2012

A Real American Hero

Julia Rehder spent the morning of March 10th just like any other morning; running a quick ten miles uphill backwards, serving her husband breakfast in bed, and teaching a daily physics lesson to her eight month old son. However, it was during Mrs. Rehder's routine semi-weekly trip to the glitter aisle of Hobby Lobby* that the routineness of her routine became decidedly not-so-routine

While studying a pack of ultra fine Marth Stewart shimmer dust, Julia felt a shopping cart slowly bearing down on her. First attempting to step out of the way, Julia quickly realized that the woman to whom the cart belonged was leaning heavily against it because as she was on the verge of fainting.


"I didn't even think," Mrs. Rehder says, "I just sprang into action." She proceeded to hold the cart steady as she made her way to the woman, who was now slouched over the bar and sliding to the floor. Julia nimbly slipped her strong (yet elegant) arms beneath the woman as she fell.


"She looked so agile," said a witness, "I mean, she didn't do anything like knock all of the merchandise off the shelves and slide awkwardly to the floor with the lady half lying on top of her. It was nothing like that. And she definitely didn't grab that poor lady's boob to steady herself as they fell, because that would've been super weird!"

After safely lowering the ailing woman to the ground, Julia knelt by her calmly while store personnel were called to the scene.

"I knew the worst thing to do in that sort of situation was panic. I had to stay calm if we were both going to make it through alive," said Rehder.


Fortunately, the woman woke up soon after the incident (approximately 5 seconds). She explained that she had not been feeling well the whole morning. "Oh dear, this is so embarrassing. Thank you for catching me," witnesses reported her saying, "Why does my boob hurt?"

Once she was sure that the woman was okay, Julia managed to slip out of the store unnoticed, despite the throngs of store patrons who had by that time gathered around to praise her for her courageous actions. 

We caught up with her as she got into her car. "I just feel really uncomfortable with being called things like a 'hero' or an 'enchanting and beautiful warrior,' or whatever else everyone keeps saying I am," says Mrs. Rehder, "I'm just an ordinary woman with an ordinary life of ordinary accomplishments. I earn my PhDs and keys to the city just like everyone else: one day at a time."

*A little background may be necessary for those unfamiliar with crafting: approaching the glitter aisle in a craft store is a serious, and at times dangerous, undertaking. For the emotionally ill-prepared, being in the presence of that much glitter (let alone attempting to choose anything less than all of it for purchase) can be such a euphoric experience that a loss of conscientiousness is their body's only capable reaction.

Sunday, March 4, 2012

Time to Go

Sloan: *gets in passenger seat* Okay, baby! Let's go.
Julia: *puts car in drive* You already strapped in Ward? That was fast!



 Important: This could be my favorite picture that has ever been taken in the history of history.