Thursday, April 19, 2012

Goodnight!

 One of Sloan's favorite things to do is work me into a rage late at night while we're lying in bed and I'm trying to sleep. That pretty much sums it up, so let's just get to it.

Warning: Sloan is super obnoxious in the following story. Discretion is advised.

Julia: *yawn* *turns out lamp* Night.
Sloan: Good night, my baby girl...my beautiful southern angel...my little sparkling apple slice.
Julia: Stop it. Do not rile me.
Sloan: Listen, friend. I have no interest in riling you.
Julia: Good.
Sloan: But if I DID have any interest in that, friend of mine, I don't think that would be so bad.
Julia: Stop.
Sloan: WHOA! No need to get angry, friend of a friend!
Julia: *silence*
Sloan: ...
Julia: *silence*
Sloan: *faaaaaaaaaart*
Julia: *silence*
Sloan: *faaaart*
Julia: Stop it.
Sloan: Stop what, friendly neighbor? It's a completely normal bodily function!
Julia: You're pushing them out. YOU'RE PUSHING THEM OUT TO RILE ME.
Sloan: What I'm trying to do is not rile you.
Julia: Oh yeah?
Sloan: Do you know what "not rile" is short for?
Julia: Huh?
Sloan:  "Not rile" is actually short for notoriously rile. So when I'm saying I'm trying to not rile you, I mean that I'm trying to notoriously rile you. That's what I'm trying to do.
Julia: That is the stupidest thing anyone has ever said to anyone else. That's not even the right part of speech...
Sloan: Actually, I'm trying to de-notoriously rile you.
Julia: What? Just stop talking!
*pause*
Julia: But just for the record, you're trying to de-notoriously rile me? So you're trying to not rile me? In a...notorious manner? Whatever that even means.
Sloan: What? Oh *throws head back* HA!! No, I can see why you'd think that. But "de-notoriously rile" is actually short for definitely notoriously rile.
Julia: This has to be absolutely the most moronic exchange that has ever taken place.
Sloan: ....*faaaaaaart*

1 comment:

  1. I would have just punched my husband and then rolled over. I can be violent like that, when de-notoriously riled that is.

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