Monday, April 16, 2012

Rehders 1:1-14

And it came to pass that in the fourth year of the reign of Obama that Sloan, the son of Ed, found no favor in his wife, Julia. For he did think of her as a most vile and stiff-necked woman.

Yea, it was Julia who did abandon Sloan and the babe for the purpose of hurriedly forging a single amigurumi bunny in the space of two days. Yea, a bunny to be donated for a church service auction.

For Julia did work, over the space of two days, yea she did not leave her dwelling. She did forge the bunny to seek the favor of the women of Bainbridge Island Relief Society. Yea, she did lust after the admiration of their hearts.

And yea, verily, the bunny was completed in time for the auction and Julia did rejoice, despite the soreness of her fingers.

And it came to pass that the bidding did begin, yea, the bidding for the bunny. And Julia's heart did swell with pride, for the auctioneer did speak words of flattery toward the bunny.

And the auctioneer did ask for an opening bid.

Regen, sister of Sloan, did offer the first bid. Yea, for Regen did look upon Julia's afflictions and desired to offer succor.

And it came to pass that the auctioneer did ask for the next bid, yea he did beseech the crowd. Who will seek to own this fine bunny? He asked, Who among you will buy this creature?

And it came to pass that no person did step forward.

The auctioneer did put forth much supplication, yea, he did call to those gathered there. Who among you will own this bunny?

And the crowd did stay quiet. Yea, even the crickets did still their voices.

Sold! The auctioneer did cry. Sold, O people of Bainbridge! It has been done!

And the bunny was sold.

Yeah, the bunny was sold to the only bidder, yea, to Regen, sister of Sloan. And Julia did return home, where there was much weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth.

8 comments:

  1. oh heavens...this doesn't help me with my doubts on who indeed the true author(s) of the scriptures may be.

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    1. The bunny is adorable! I would have paid good money for that. I'm talking GOOD money! Also, OMG. Writing like the scriptures is hard and I am very impressed by you. I tried to write a psalm once for a class. It wasn't that awesome.

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  2. yay! now I can say I've rad my scriptures today!

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  3. Dude! You MADE that bunny? It's sweet! I can relate... it's like when no one liked my valentine's day box at the ward Valentine's day party. The only reason I even went to the party was so they would vote for my box. Jon wasn't even with me. I went to a valentine's day party ALONE. Not a single person voted for mine. I guess they just don't understand me or my style... that's all. They probably never will...oh well.

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  4. Sariah (better known as your mother) is mightily impressed!

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  5. What? You wanted us to take away that adorable bunny from your even more adorable son? No way!

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  6. Oh my goodness, I love all of it. My family's "Family Journal" has many a chapters in "The Book of Neugebauer" with a lot of "and it came to pass..."

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  7. oh, and...impressed by the bunny. Switching yarn colors that many times makes me want to throw up.

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