Thursday, May 31, 2012

Lay Offs

*lying in bed*
Sloan: I'm sorry you got fired today, baby.
Julia: I didn't get fired. I got laid off.
Sloan: Everyone gets fired once in their life, it's nothing to be ashamed of.
Julia: I'm not ashamed, because I didn't get fired.
Sloan: What's that saying? Something about how not everyone can be good at everything and that's why fish can't climb trees or something?
Julia: What?
Sloan: I'm just saying don't get down on yourself. You can only have so many skills; that's why no one would ever say that a fish wasn't as good as the other fishes if it couldn't climb a tree.
Julia: I'm not really--
Sloan: No one would expect something like that from even the greatest fish in the world, just like no one expects you to be the best employee in the universe.
Julia: I didn't get fired because I was incompetent. I was laid off because my project was moved to India.
Sloan: And you know, over there kids go to school for like 18 hours a day and are practically trained in their professions around the same time an American child is just learning how to read, so really, no one expects you to compete with that.
Julia: What are you talking about? Are you confusing India with China...where all of that is still not true, by the way...
Sloan: It's just too bad that our contract on that house fell through since you got fired before the loan was approved. 
Julia: Oh yeah, I had already forgotten about that since this morning. Thanks for the reminder.
Sloan: I mean, sure we're going to have to pay $90,000 in a couple of months for my first year of tuition, but we'll find a way to survive on whatever money we can scrape together for rent. I mean, I'm selling my iPhone, so there's $300 right there. Only about $600 and we've got a roof over our heads for the first month!
Julia: Can you please stop talking?
Sloan: Just remember, to Symantec you may be a little fishy who can't climb trees, but to me, you're the best fishy in the world.

3 comments:

  1. Outsourcing :( I'm sorry guys. Glad you're still blogging.

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  2. There actually is a fish that can climb trees! Its called the- this isn't the time for this, is it?... Well, you be the best fishy out there, juju! (But really, there is a fish that can climb a tree).

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  3. Julia, I'm sorry that you got laid off. But at least you no longer must toil for the company that surely has the most inept/evil upper management I've ever encountered.

    Good Luck!

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