Anyway, because I'm so good at this, I figured I'd pass along some writing tips to my faithful readers, and by "writing tips" I mean "talk at your husband about Teen Leah's custody issues while he goes clicky clacky on the computer and smiles reassuringly at you."
Tip #1: You don't have to write to be a good writer! Now this one might seem obvious, as I just explained to you that I am very successful despite lacking "traditional" reading skills. But for those of you who are still skeptical, you need to remember that literacy is a specialized skill! And just like with everything else in life, you don't necessarily need the skill yourself. Would you perform surgery on yourself? Heck no! So why would you go through all the trouble of learning how to read and write when almost everyone you know can already do that for you? A lot of people will even do it for you for free if they are your friends or family! SAVE THE BRAIN SPACE!
Tip #2: Be from the South. People LOVE that. When I tell someone I'm from the South and/or when I speak with a southern accent, I can tell that they go from seeing me as a normal 26 year old woman to seeing me as this:
|Everything I say is |
For example, here is a picture of my grandma.
|This picture just got a whole lot cuter.|
Tip #3: *yawn* Oh, are you still here? Yeesh, I haven't helped you enough? Listen, I don't have time to walk you through every little piece of the entire writing process, so it's time to cut the cord. Go off on your own now, young apprentice, go and write!