Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Easy as Pie!

Julia: Hey guys! We should make onesies for each baby cousin and put the state in which they were born on each!
Laura: Ward will get Utah, Lucy will get Alabama, and Olivia will get Virginia!
Sarah: And then we can take pictures!
Everyone: CUTE! *group high five* What could go wrong?!

Nothing.

Nothing could go wrong.

Nothing at all.

Sunday, June 17, 2012

Baby Information

Ward is almost one year old and, based on my experience, this is what one year old babies like to do:
  • One-year-olds like to cry
  • One-year-olds really like to cry
  • One-year-olds like to let out loud farts while they cry
  • One-year-olds like to eat cigarette butts at the park
  • One-year-olds like to chew on folded lawn chairs
  • One-year-olds like to stare in awkward amazement at black people, tall people, and people in wheelchairs
  • One-year-olds like to lick people's shoes during church
  • One-year-olds like to lick people's wheel chairs during church
Stay tuned for my blog post about Sloan, titled "Things That 27-Year-Olds Like to Do."

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

For Dad

There are many reason I decided to make a technicolored dreamquilt for my dad's birthday next month, some of which are:
  • I just love him.
  • He passed on the "Ooh! Shiny!!!" gene on to me from his side of the family, so I knew if I made him a technicolor dreamquilt and he'd love it as much as it deserved to be loved.
  • He's the grandfather of my baby boy, his namesake, and doppelganger.
  • When Sloan and I got married, I set the wedding date to be on dad's birthday to gently remind him that I'm more important. I still feel a little bad about that. 
  • Dad taught my siblings and me that if someone keeps borrowing your stuff and not putting it back where it belongs (remotes, combs, scissors, cars), get some rope.
Michelle has learned this technique best.
  • As of right now, dad's will only bequeaths 1/4th of his wealth to me, as the rest goes to the other three kids. And as far as I can see, there are only so many ways to bump that portion up a little, and since dad keeps refusing to give me power of attorney, I guess I'll have to take his suggestion to "do it the old fashioned way and become the favorite child."
  • I have no money and (certainly) no other skills.
Because I'm still pretty bad at making stuff and I don't like to read directions, it took me...a while to get going on this project. Things looked dismal at times, but after several months of sitting on the Rehder's couch watching Masterpiece Theater/How It's Made/Hal Lindsey/stupid car shows with Ed and Sloan, I was ready to go to Tennessee having MADE A (mediocre at best) QUILT!!!

BEHOLD

Throughout the process of making it, I got kind of attached to my technicolor dreamquilt.

I call him DQ

He looks so peaceful when he sleeps.
In fact, for a couple of days there, I forgot that I already had a kid! But don't worry, we found Ward still strapped into his car seat in the garage. Quick fact: did you know that a baby can actually go seven days without food?

Anyway, I don't want to go so far as to say that DQ is a member of the family, but I will say that if (heaven forbid) the Moore's had to choose between this little guy or, say, my 21 year old sister Michelle, it'd be a difficult decision to make. 
Toss up
I mean, for one thing, DQ spends a lot less time occupying the bathroom and family computer.



And that's what makes him such a great quilt.

So happy birthday, dad! I hope you like my gift! And if you like it enough to pass another 25% of your liquidated assets my way, I don't think anyone would see that as unreasonable!