Monday, July 30, 2012

A Rehder Family Vacation

Pam: We should float the river!!
Everyone: Yeah! *fist pumps*
It'll be so peaceful!
We'll make new friends!

Ed: I'll get the tubes!

Regen: I'll get the sunscreen!

Mikyn: (I actually can't remember what she said because everything out of Mikyn's mouth is BOR-ING)

Let's go!
Image

So.

That's how that went.

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Guest Blogger: Ward

Hello, everyone. My mother doesn't technically know that I'm guest blogging today, but someone needed to keep this thing alive. I wish I could say that mom has been absent from the blog because she's been really busy appearing on The Bachelorette or nannying for Charlie Sheen's kids, but the reality is that she accidentally locked herself out of her own Google account for three weeks and finally just gave up on technology.
Anyway.
Mom, Dad, and I have been traveling all over the place this summer: the Pacific Northwest, the High Desert, the Dirty South; and I've been strapped into a crusty old car seat for most of it. Yes, we've covered a lot of ground in the old U.S. of A, and I thought it'd be nice to put up some highlights of what I've seen along the way:

The Natural State
The Beaver State
The Heart of Dixie
The Evergreen State
The Volunteer State
The list goes on, but I think you get my point, being: car seats suck. And no matter how much I freak out, my obtuse parents don't seem to get the message that I am OLD ENOUGH to sit like a BIG BOY SO GET ME OUT OF THIS SEAT YOU IMBECILES OR I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE.

Monday, July 23, 2012

3 (Long) Years

We've laughed, we've cried, we've eaten too much, we've napped. And somehow a kid showed up within that time, too (don't ask me how).

This post is dedicated to my sweetheart, Sloan.

Thank you for posing for pictures way before they are actually taken. It really helps that you freeze like a mannequin and won't respond to me or hold Ward so that I get really annoyed right before the picture.


Thank you for helping us narrow down our lunch options by forcing me to eliminate any restaurant with a name that rhymes easily. For example, when deciding between McDonald's or Chung's Teriyaki, I need only remember the twenty minute car ride of your rapping after we ate teriyaki last time:

Gimme dat food, gimme dat CHUNG'S
Slurp it down my gullet, not into my LUNGS
Hand me those noodles, put 'em in my MOUTH
Chew 'em up and swallow, now they're headed DOWN SOUTH
McDonald's it is.

Thank you for bringing Mikyn into my life. During these hard times when the media is a constant assault on young women's self-esteem, telling us to forsake our talents in order to pursue beauty at any cost, we women need to stick together. And having someone like Mikyn for us to look to helps us all remember that things aren't so bad for us. We could be doing a lot worse in the beauty department.
Don't worry girls, the scary lady won't hurt you.
Thank you for downloading the app on your phone that allows you to doodle on photos. It's been really nice for you to wake me up at two in the morning to show me what you've made.



Thank you for imparting so much of your knowledge during long car rides and visits to historical sites. If it weren't for you, I would've never known that chinchillas are technically considered bicurious, that Canadians call obese people "jelly bottoms," or that we were driving past the canyon in Oregon where Lewis and Clark were camping when they discovered that they could light their farts.

 

Thank you for always acting super normal with Ward in general. It's comforting to know that you're the person teaching him proper social interaction and decision making.



Happy three years, baby! 

Here's to another three! 

Hopefully! 

Fingers crossed!

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Growin On Up

THINGS THAT SOUNDED LIKE A TERRIBLE IDEA WHEN I WAS LITTLE BUT NOW SOUND LIKE A GOOD IDEA
  • Getting out of the pool to go take a nap
  • Watching golf on TV
  • Having mom take me bra shopping
  • Listening to talk radio
  • Bathing
  • Having a baby
  • Making lists

THINGS THAT SOUNDED LIKE A TERRIBLE IDEA WHEN I WAS LITTLE AND STILL SOUND LIKE A BAD IDEA
  • Folding laundry
  • Talking to strangers
  • Going on a hike
  • Having another baby
  • Not eating the entire pizza

THINGS THAT HAVE ALWAYS SOUNDED LIKE A GOOD IDEA 
  • Crying to get out of trouble
  • Sleeping late
  • Watching The Simpsons
  • Making fun of Mikyn
Just feels right.

Monday, July 2, 2012

(f)unemployment

Sloan: How is the job search going, baby?
Julia: Eh, it's okay.
Sloan: Well, what have you applied for?
Julia: Oh, just some different positions, you know...
Sloan: Yeah, like what?
Julia: Well, I've been in touch.
Sloan: In...touch? With who?
Julia:...
Sloan: *serious face* You haven't done anything to look for a job, have you.
Julia: *sigh* *throws self on floor* I dunno, I kinda thought that if I wrote on my blog that I was laid off  then...some doors would open up.
Sloan: *furrowed brow* You expected a reader to offer you a job? Only your relatives read that thing!! And what kind of job anyway?
Julia: I don't know...maybe like to be on tv or something.
Sloan: Wait, you thought that some powerful person would read your blog, find out that you were looking for a job, and then decide turn you into a celebrity?
Julia: *sits up* Geez, Sloan, not a celebrity! Just, like, maybe a hair model or something. Or a professional writer.
Sloan: Who do you think reads your blog?
Julia: Well, I'm not sure, but I have tracked some IP addresses from New York City and LA, so I thought maybe those were people in the...you know, in the industry.
Sloan: So you're betting our family's future on Tina Fey giving you a call and offering you a job to be a sexy model writer who blogs once a week about your dopey baby and husband?
Julia: Well, I was thinking two or three times a week, but I'd be fine with just a weekly contribution.
Sloan: *sigh*