Thursday, November 15, 2012

For Time and All Eternity

Sloan and I were married three and a half years ago at his family's home on Bainbridge Island, Washington. 
As usual: I'm killin it and Sloan's just a creep.
And this December, we'll get married again. Sloan, Ward, and I are getting sealed in the Las Vegas Nevada LDS temple.
We could have been sealed at the same time we were married, a common practice, but at that point I wasn't ready to make such a major religious commitment. Though I was born and raised a Mormon, in my adult years I've been extremely slow to believe in God and fully embrace religion in general. There was no traumatic event that caused me to question my religion. No death or abuse or anything like that. I was raised in an excellent family full of people who have loved and accepted me no matter my choices. And I've always liked the Mormon church in the community sense. I think Mormons are hard-working, down-to-earth people who let a lot of stuff roll off their backs. There isn't some sort of angry or derogatory undertone in the LDS religion, and to me that is one testament to the sincerity of its message. I think it was just a combination of laziness and an over-inflated ego that caused my reluctance to take religion seriously.

I'd like to think that my immense intellect was the main detractor from taking a leap of faith. But I don't think I can say that, seeing as I can't even consistently pronounce words like "confiscate" or "grosgrain" correctly. Nor can I divide fractions...even with a calculator. And until last week, I thought that men had ovaries too. So that whole intellectual theory is pretty much out.

I was kind of at the peak of my crisis of faith right around the time I met Sloan. He stood by patiently while I did and said a multitude of selfish and destructive things while trying out my new ideas and beliefs. He quietly withstood my erratic behavior without much judgment, kind of like I imagine a parent does when their child is "just going through a phase." He listened to my rants and gave me whatever space I needed, he offered direct and sensible advice while I tried to pat myself on the back for all of the complex philosophy I was cooking up. We went on walks. He made me lunch. We did crossword puzzles together.

I liked being around Sloan because he made me feel calm and kind. I wanted to be like Sloan. I admired him for his fortitude and patience. He was a strong man who knew his convictions, but he was always slow to take offense. He was not easily dismayed, nor was he judgmental. He was just Sloan. My mom had once told me that she and my dad both loved each other for having all of the qualities the other lacked. My dad was fond of how compassionate and loving my mother was to everyone. My mom admired my father's unceasing work ethic and his lack of self-entitlement. It wasn't hard to decide to marry Sloan since it was just the downright sensible choice. He's always believed the church was true, since before his mission, which also meant that he's also always wanted to get married in the temple. He took a major risk marrying me in a civil ceremony, which was actually pretty stupid on his part. But besides his steadfastness and patience, Sloan is also an exceptionally accepting man. So you bet your bottom dollar I took advantage of THAT and convinced him to marry me in a civil ceremony until I could feel ready for the temple. I was pretty sexy back then, so it wasn't too hard to con him into it.

Don't get me wrong, though, Sloan is super annoying most of the time. For instance, this morning I asked him to bring me a towel while I was in the bath tub and he brought me a paper towel.

Anyway, the point of this post is to openly declare that I'm ready to commit to my religion! Do I still have some issues that hurt? Sure, gay marriage being one. But do I think that will be resolved in time? Yes. Do I sometimes feel like some rules are arbitrary? Like not drinking alcohol or not gambling? Yes, but I also thought the same thing when my parents made me wear a coat on cold days or return a plastic ruby bracelet to Claire's that I tried to shoplift when I was five years old (still mad about that, but I understand why I couldn't keep it OKAY MOM GET OFF MY BACK). But I guess the most important questions, the ones that I'd avoided for so long, were simply, "Do I think being Mormon is a good idea? Do I want to raise my children in this environment? Do I believe it's true?" all of which I would answer with an absolute yes.

It only took me 26 years!

13 comments:

  1. I love you Jules, this post makes me happy :)

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  2. I love you so much & am so happy for you! And wow. The more & more I read about you & Sloan, the more I know y'all were totally meant for each other! You balance each other. That's awesome!! I wish we could be there but couldn't be more excited!!

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  3. congrats! my wife and I got married civily first as well then traveled the country to San Diego and got sealed about a year and a half ago. We enjoyed our temple sealing a million times more. and congrats on the testimony as well :)

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  4. JU-LEEEE-AH! I am so freaking excited for you.
    And, I also feel like, if you have a perfect testimony of perfectly everything... then you are Jesus. The rest of us have to believe that all of it's true, because we know some of it's true. And getting married in the temple is the best ever.
    And you get to have Ward there with you, which might make the 3-year delay worth it. :)

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  5. Congratulations Julia! Great post and what a great love story. :)

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  6. Well congratulations! I'm glad you finally came to your senses. Jk. we are so happy for you guys! I want to come to your sealing! Btw, you were rockin it in that sexy short wedding dress, aoowww!!

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  7. I congratulate you on doing things in the proper order. Gain the desire and testimony to be committed to the gospel first, THEN go through the temple. I think too many of us feel pressured into switching that around, and far too often it leads to some messed-up people who've made some major covenants that they aren't ready to honor yet. So congrats! It's going to be a great day for you & your family.

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  8. Jules you are the bomb, and I miss being able to walk down the street and interrupt your nap and decorate weird baby clothes and con you into giving me your pom pom makers. I am really happy for you guys. Little Wardy is so lucky to have such awesome parentals.

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  9. This answers a lot of questions that were clearly to delicate to ask at the time they posed themselves to me :) Thank you for answering them, and thank you for being so forthright to us, your devoted readers and (for a handful of us) those of us who have known you since we were kids. Congrats on the sealing! It certainly is special and I hope it is just as wonderful and memorable as your first wedding day!

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  10. How exciting :) Also, I feel we really need to hang out and talk because I feel we would have a lot in common and lots to talk about. :)

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  11. I wish I could say that I am pleasantly surprised that you desire the eternal promise offered in the House of the Lord, but of course, I am not. I have said many times to your mom and dad that the day would come when their ornery (that's a Tennessee word for stubborn for those who don't recognize it)one would come to the sweet and peaceful feeling that entering the House of the Lord is right and true. Taking your first-born in your arms and having the Spirit bear witness that he is you and you are him is a wonderful impetus to make that union eternal. Becky Pitcher made a statement that I agree with whole-heartedly, she said, And, I also feel like, if you have a perfect testimony of perfectly everything... then you are Jesus. Trust Him and walk in faith. Uncle C.

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