Thursday, November 8, 2012

The Financials

In case you somehow missed it the last four hundred times I mentioned it (you stupid imbecile), Sloan is currently attending dental school full time at UNLV. I stay at home with our gremlin creature social experiment son, Ward.
Lucky me!
"Wait a minute," you might be saying, "neither you nor Sloan work? How are you staying not dead without any income? Do you steal things like Aladdin? Like where it's a justified thing since you need to survive and even though you're technically a thief you're actually really good-hearted and share your precious loaf of bread with orphan children so no one can really blame you for what you're doing?"

Um, no. We don't have to steal. I mean, we may not have JOBS, but we most certainly have money! It may not be OUR money, but it most certainly is someone else's money that they are charging us to borrow so that we may pretend that it is our money! And we most certainly use that money to buy nothing because that's all we can afford to buy with that money! And we most certainly qualify for food stamps since our income is zero!

"Julia," you may now be saying, "Let me get this straight: you had already graduated by the time you married Sloan, so you were able to support him by working full time while he finished his undergrad. And you knew that he was going to attend dental school after college, so WHY did you ruin everything by having a baby so soon? You could've kept working in Las Vegas and you'd be avoiding a lot of debt!"

Well, first of all, let me say that you seem to know a lot about me. Actually, most people know that stuff about me, so I guess it's not that weird. But it IS weird that you told ME everything about me just now, even though I obviously already know all of that stuff, so the summary wasn't necessary. Anyway, I'll let you in on a little secret that might help explain our current financial situation: our little Ward wasn't exactly...planned. He was a happy accident! An accidental happy! A funny, squishy inconvenience! He's going to end up being our $250,000 baby, I suppose.

"Plenty of mothers work, Julia. So why can't you do it?"

I don't know, reader, some questions just don't have answers. Why  doesn't the rain stop falling? Why can't we end all of the wars? Why can't Mikyn just wear deodorant for once in her life? Some things just are the way they are. I can't work while I have a 15 month old. I do not know how working mothers do it, but there is no way that I have the energy or emotional resilience to work a job and then come home to taking care of a baby. Dropping Ward off at daycare (which I think he would actually love to go to) then going to work a stressful job, then picking him up and taking care of him/the house for the rest of the evening sounds like a marathon that I simply cannot run.

So for now, we'll live in a small apartment, have only one car, and I'll only buy clothes when I...need them *shudder* Luckily we're already pretty low-maintenance people. The only thing I miss about having an income is buying stuff. And traveling. And living in a nice place. That's all. Oh! And a car. I miss having a car. But other than that, I am totally easy-going about the whole thing!


  1. Hey! we're in the same boat as you guys! school is just way too expensive.

  2. I feel you 100%. It's actually refreshing to hear another woman say she doesn't feel she's up to working full-time and being a mom. I sometimes feel guilty that I don't, because a lot of mom's do. It's like a lot of people are telling us, it's easy and you should be able to do it too. But just the thought makes me want to go lie down. Even working part-time from home is almost too much for me some days. At least you have a light at the end of the tunnel--you'll be making good money once he's done with dental school. On the other hand, I'm sure Claudy's social work degree (still in his bachelors if that makes you feel any better) will be RAKING in the money, to pay off what we've had to borrow. Sigh. Yay for being poor :)

  3. Haha love this. My husband is getting his MA and as much as I want a baby...well we can't really afford it. It'll be worth it to you when your husband finishes though!