Thursday, November 29, 2012

Tooter

WARNING: This is all about farts. Discretion is advised.

The Scene: Julia and Sloan's bedroom at bedtime.

Sloan: *pooft*
Julia: Sloan, gross! Don't fart in bed when I'm sharing a blanket with you! Now I'm wrapped in fart air!
Sloan: *fake snore*
Julia: *sigh* *lays head back down on pillow*
Sloan: *flrrrpt*
Julia: SLOAN.
Sloan: *fake sleepy voice* Wha--? Babe, why did you wake me up? *sniff* Did you fart?
Julia: Don't rile me up right before bed! Now stop fart--
Sloan: *BWOMP*
Julia: *angry face* *holding nose* QUIT IT.
Sloan: Whew! *wafting arm* Oh man, that one made my eyes water!
Julia: Please, just quit--
Sloan: *plappity plaaaph*
Julia: That one sounded like you were sitting in pudding! What is wrong with your bowels??
Sloan: Julia, there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with farting! Not only is it natural but it's necessary! *BLORP*
Julia: *grabs Sloan's face* Stop. Farting.
Sloan: That one wasn't a fart! My foot slid in the bath tub earlier and it's just now making the sound! Haven't you heard of delayed auditory reflex?
Julia: *throws covers off* I cannot believe you are a real person.
Sloan: * faaaaart* Yow! *wafting arms* These farts are rollin' in the deep!
Julia: *takes pillow, gets out of bed*
Sloan: Hey babe, where ya going?? *glubt* I wanna cuddle!

4 comments:

  1. It's amazing how many different sounds Sloan can make with his farts. I bet he was the king at scout camp.

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  2. Maybe it comes with studying dentistry? Let's pray our husbands never get together- I sense the world would end in a giant nuclear poot.

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  3. your fart spellings remind me of Calvin and Hobbs:) btw what did Sloan EAT???!!!

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  4. I'm sorry. I'm so very sorry. BECAUSE RICHARD AND I JUST HAD THIS VERY CONVERSATION.

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