Thursday, December 13, 2012

The Big Help

It must be some sort of big cosmic joke that children have an insatiable desire to "help" adults, because as most of us know, a baby who likes to help is the least helpful kind of baby. They are the anti-help. Have you ever been around a kid who wanted to help cook? Has it ever not ended with a full carton of broken eggs face down on the floor or a melted mixing bowl on the eye of the stove? Or a baby who helps you clean by pushing over a bucket of dirty mop water onto the carpet?

Ward likes to help me, and luckily he's still too small to do serious damage. When I vacuum, he gets the dustpan and pushes it along the ground behind me.
It's not helpful.

In public, he likes to get out and help me push his own stroller.
Also not helpful.
He sweeps the living room floor.
This helps me in no way.
And...squeegee the bathroom wall.
You're not even wearing pants, Ward. 
Get a hold of yourself.
I think you get my point.

And I know what you're saying in response to all of this, "But Julia, it's your job to teach your child how to work. It'll be slow and frustrating, but it's all about being a good parent! Enjoy this time while you have it, spend your days working together and learning. It will create memories that your babies will remember for the rest of their lives, and isn't that what's important? Also, your blog is so cool and you are super pretty, and I think your baby is so much cuter than Angelina Jolie's babies. And I just love your name, Julia, the way it rolls off the tongue, you're so deserving of such a beautiful name. Oh, and this might sound weird, but, are you looking for a job? Because I'm a producer at NBC. Tina Fey needs a sassy sidekick for her latest project and she asked me to see if you were interested. You don't have to answer right now, because we don't want to scare you off or anything! HAHA Just go ahead and let us know at your convenience. And whatever you're thinking in regards to salary, let me just say...whatever you want, we can work that out."

Wait, you, um...weren't saying that last part? My bad! Ha! No big deal! Well, I gotta go lock myself in the bathroom and cry in the shower run some errands! I'll, um, finish this post later. *sob*


  1. Haha I was thinking about this the other day. Crue sweeps the carpet, too. Which really grosses me out because brooms are yucky. And I'll probably break my back one day soon helping him "help" me to laundry...

    Cute pictures. :)

  2. He is cute and babies are bad helpers. Did you see the video of my kids not helping me by dumping out a bag of cereal an then sweeping it up? Two babies who like to help are twice as anti-help. (Not to one-up you or anything.)