AND those rare times when I DO think of a joke while talking to someone, I get too excited and blow the whole thing by shouting out the punchline before I'm even done with the set up (see example below).
OB/GYN: Okay, Julia, good morning. Go ahead and step on the scale--
Julia: SHOULDN'T YA BUY ME DINNER FIRST!? HA!
Nurse: I don't think you wanted to say that until we got to the pap smear.
Comedy is all about timing. And 99% of the time, I have terrible timing (the one percent was this time I had to repeat my joke twice to my grandma and so it was more her fault than mine because seriously Nanny just get a hearing aid).
So to anyone wondering, I've made this chart to help you pre-determine how entertaining I would be in conversation.
On the Internet
In person while
dealing with Ward