Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Phone Probs

Because I'm the greatest/dumbest mother in the universe (and prettiest! not that it's relevant in this situation), I let Ward play with my iPhone when I'm not using it. Yes, that means I'm essentially handing him a $500 toy every time he's on it, but it's just so darned convenient! It's a great way to keep my tasmanian devil happily occupied whenever I drag him along on errands to the grocery store or the bank or the casino shooting range matinee double feature of Battlefield Earth and Madea Goes to Jail I mean, uh, the volunteer place! Yeah! That place where I do all of the volunteering for things! I take Ward there all the time even though he NEVER pulls his weight when we're doing stuff like...volunteering.

So, that's why he plays with my phone so much.

Because of all of my volunteer work.

Where was I? Oh yeah, my baby being a slave to technology. Ward even has his own little folder on my phone with the baby apps that teach him colors and numbers and the ABC's because heaven knows I don't wanna have to do all that crap! But like most kids, he isn't always interested in the baby stuff. He wants to do big kid stuff. Like save pictures into my gallery from unknown sources...like this one. 


I'm pretty sure it's just some friend's random photo from Facebook, but I have no earthly idea who this is in this picture. WHAT DON'T BE SILLY I know that's Minnie Mouse, I just don't know the name of that tall drink of water in the red! *If anyone has any information on this photo, please don't contact me regarding it because it's not a big deal or anything I just deleted it off my phone so that's sorta the end of that.* But as much as he likes saving pictures of other people to my phone, Ward really loves taking lots of pictures of himself.

(I don't mind that.)

Ward also likes to call people (and by 'people' I mean '99999999#####99999' eighteen times).

I kinda mind that.
He is pretty into making appointments on my phone's calendar, too. Appointments that I don't know exist until I receive the alert for them (that Ward also set up). It's common for me to think I'm getting a very important call (because I get them all the time), only to run to my phone and discover this:


And you don't know what panic feels like until you're sitting in the bathtub before bed and get back-to-back alerts for appointments that you are already missing BECAUSE THEY ARE HAPPENING RIGHT NOW.

JUST MY LUCK NOW I'M LATE FOR
 Ma0"".LADYBUGTROPICALFISH

Also missed my appointment for TURTLE.

Ward fiddles around in the notes section, too. He likes leaving me cute little one-letter notes.


However, his notes have started getting a little more...ominous lately.


What I'm trying to say with this whole long post is: If my death seems at all suspicious, this note pretty clearly spells out what might have happened.

It was Ward.

5 comments:

  1. Sometimes post you posted ages ago pop into my head and I start laughing. And laughing for no clear reason in a grocery store is strange enough, but if you tried to explain that it had something to do with a baby and "Nancy Grace" levels of dislike, well then, they might ask you to leave.

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  2. That's my Granny Jo with Minnie Mouse!!

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  3. Ok i read this earlier today on my phone while breastfeeding. My body was shaking with laughter which crazily seemed to rock my baby to sleep. This blog is great. Julia can we be friends? I'm serious! :)

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  4. Yes Lacey, let's be friends! I could use all of the help I can get.

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