It seems like just yesterday I was in high school, lookin fly in my Gap flared jeans and puka shell necklace(s) with my hair all crunchy for optimum wave. But it wasn't just yesterday.
It was ten years ago.
I was workin that Nokia cell phone (actually it was my parents' that they'd occasionally let me borrow as long as I had been "a respectful daughter who has earned the privilege of using it"), blowing up the snake game high score like whoa. I had mad respect for Hollister. I watched TRL. And my car even had automatic seat belts. DAMN IT FELT GOOD TO BE A GANGSTA. I could go on, but suffice it to say that I was (still am) extremely baller.
|Ball so hard.|
Over the past couple of years, one comment that keeps popping up from strangers I meet is,"You have a baby? But you're only a teenager!" The internet tells me to be offended when people say this, but the internet also told me that Sharknado was a bad movie, so it obviously gets things wrong like the rest of us. Besides, I am not going to be picky about the compliments I receive from strangers! They're compliments! They're like little life preservers for those of us forever drowning in the sea of self-loathing!
Okay, full disclosure: I'm pretty sure most people think I'm younger than I am not because I'm vibrant and fresh-faced, but because I dress like a slob. I mean, not total slob, but just a notch below (above?) the outfit you'd see on someone who just crawled out of an abandoned refrigerator box.
Also...several of those "Oh, you're so pretty and youthful and supple, you couldn't possibly be pushing thirty!" moments have actually been older men at the park who seem instantly disengaged once I inform them that I'm not a teenager. Still counts though!
But honestly, it's not all that bad getting older. I'm funnier, savvier, and I can FINALLY start legitimately saying, "I am too damn old for this," at a few specific times, like when I get a big zit or when I get asked to prom or when I see Jaden or Willow Smith on TV for any reason.
Julia Rehder: Too Damn Old for This!